Author's Note:
Happy New Year*! (TL Note: 2020; where this chapter was released.)
Thank you for continuing to support us until now.
Enjoy reading!
Chapter 125The Dreaming Girl Glimpses
(TL Note: Just like in the previous chapter, this chapter uses Aika's POV, and not the narrator's POV like in the LN version!)
"I'm sorry, Natsukawa!"
Suddenly, Wataru bowed to me. The sudden apology confused me. As I looked at his brown hair, which was starting to turn black at the roots, I felt a sense of nostalgia.
"Even if you hit me, I won't go away, in fact, your every hit will make me miss you even more. If you think of it, I am a weird and crazy guy, aren't I?"
"I don't know..." but I agree with what he said. It's true, it would be a problem if the person you're hitting misses you. The content of his own words is quite reasonable. —But Wataru suddenly started talking like that doesn't seem like the right thing.
(Why did he suddenly say that? —Eh?)
I couldn't get out the words I wanted to reply. All I could do was stare at Wataru's face, who was looking at me as if he had just realized something. However, strangely, I've never questioned myself like that. Moreover, I feel that it's not the first time I've experienced this scene and the thrill of the words he unexpectedly threw at me like that.
"The more you hit me, the more I should realize. If you don't like that, then I shouldn't approach you anymore. Human relationships usually work like that, don't they? — So, I'll try to do what's "natural" to do, and try to read the mood. I'll try to calm my usual self down, so let's get along from now on."
(That's impossible!)
I was very surprised to hear his words. I wondered what he would say with that knowing look on his face that I didn't understand... Maybe it's good that he'll start reading the mood instead. Would he calm himself down? That must be the most impossible thing this boy has ever done. No matter how hard I hit him away from me, no matter how much I yelled at him, he still clung to me. There were also times when he intimidated the girls around him who came to warn him. No matter how many times I tried to talk to him, he would never listen to me, so who is this boy talking to me right now?
"Don't follow me!"
"Oh!"
What the heck was he talking about-?
"Y-You... ...are you not coming?"
"Eh...?"
....
(...Eh...?)
I felt a sense of discomfort. Strange... ...I feel like I've experienced this strange feeling before. It felt as if I had been holding something and it turned out to be water, it felt as if I had been touching water and it turned out to be air, it felt as if something had slipped through the gaps between my fingers, it felt as if I had been deceived.
That's right, the Sajou Wataru I know is like that. I've seen him before, someone who never tried to give up, simply retreating as if it was normal.
A boy who disappeared from my side. At a time when he should have been in that place all the time, I suddenly wandered around the classroom, and I found he wasn't there, or even if he was there, he was talking to someone far away, out of my hearing range.
My impatience was born from the accumulation of such things. My selfish, self-centered feelings and not something to be praised. The illusion that "someone's existence" had been taken away from me.
I made so many friends. I invited them to my house. However, I felt as if the "place" that I had taken for granted was melting away. Something that burns and turns to ash and is full of holes, as opposed to something that fills your heart.
"Didn't she say it herself that someone creepy like me, who could also have a negative influence on Airi-chan, shouldn't come near her?"
Stop it! Because I already understand what you're doing. I understand that you're reading the atmosphere. I understand that you're trying to keep your distance from me because you're afraid of others worrying about me. So, now you can just say it.—
"—So, we're done with that kind of thing."
Don't leave me alone.
"-...!?"
It was dawn. In my dimly lit and quiet bedroom. Although I had just woken up, there was no sign that I was asleep or dreaming. As I moved my knees on my bed, I heard the sound of towels rubbing against each other.
(...Wataru...)
I could only remember two things that came to mind. The moment Sajou Wataru appeared at the scene and the fact that I felt like I was going to lose something. It was a scary dream. I couldn't remember anything specific. I don't know if my dream was scary or not, but whether it was right or wrong can be proven by the amount of sweat pouring down my neck and chest.
(...Idiot...)
I realized that I was the one venting my frustration at him. But still, I felt like complaining about something to him at least once in a while. I do know what happened yesterday. But still, there must be some emotions that I forgot after I slept all night.
I unplugged the charger's wire from my smartphone on the table beside my bed. I got up from my bed operated my smartphone, and opened a group of three people, including my best friend and "that boy". It was at that moment that I realized. For some reason, I felt that I was no longer in a position to complain about something to him without any meaning.
"...You idiot."
I didn't feel any physical fatigue. I think I was just affected by the remnants of this summer. I might have slept with a towel tightly covering my body, but that might have had a negative impact. I looked at the clock on the wall with bleary eyes, it was 4:30 a.m. There was no one beside me, so it didn't seem to be "the day I woke up to my beloved little sis patting my knee".
(...I'm not sleepy.)
No, no, it's a bit too early in the morning. It's not that unusual. Given the rhythm of my life that revolves around my beloved little sis, I can say that I've had enough sleep. Besides, I feel like I can't sleep anymore. I have school today — If I stay awake and get ready, I might be able to ease Mom's burden. Yeah, let's do that.
I slowly wiped my sweat-soaked lower chest and back with a cool cloth.
♦
"..."
The more I thought about it, the more I felt it. That was my frustration with Sajou Wataru.
My frustration consisted of various mixed emotions. When I unraveled it one by one, it mostly consisted of dissatisfaction, awkwardness, and regret.
Among the most common causes of my dissatisfaction was the fact that I still couldn't get rid of my doubts about him. There were many things that I had not been able to deal with regularly. It's also partly to avoid a disconnect between the three of us, which includes my best friend, Ashida Kei. However, I was confident that I could understand it and accept it in my mind.
"We're not like that anymore". It was this statement that fueled my dissatisfaction.
How did he know that "Shinomiya Rin"?
Why is he so close to that "Shinomiya Rin"?
Where does he work part-time?
How did he get along with Ichinose Mina, our classmate?
Why is she so attached to him?
Has he seen the mature-looking middle school girl again since "that time"?
How close was his relationship with his Big Sis?
Was it normal for him to call a girl by her nickname just because they both went to the same middle school?
Aren't there plenty of girls who seem to be quite friendly to him around?
(W-Wait a minute...!)
I was organizing the questions, and recording them in my head, and then I felt that I was worrying too much. Come to think of it, I guess there are many kinds of relationships with the opposite gender in this world. I understood why I couldn't ask him that casually. I felt ashamed of myself for worrying about it.
But still, if only that "yesterday's incident" hadn't happened. If I had remained unconscious, I might have been able to ask him somewhere. Although I would be arriving at school soon and we would be meeting soon, it seemed that the "extreme awkwardness" that had faded away after sleeping all night had returned to me again.
"—Oh! Speaking of the devil!"
"...!"
I heard a voice and looked up. When I looked up, I found my best friend, Kei, waving her hand in front of the school entrance. I wonder if she had just finished her morning practice. I guess she was in a good mood, a far cry from my "morning mood", which made me a bit disappointed.
"Good morning, Aichi! Can I hug you?"
"Good morning, Kei. It's hot, so please stop!"
She came right in front of me and jumped up and down with a posture as if she was going to pounce on me at any moment. I reached my hand forward and stopped her. The weather was still hot, and I felt reluctant to come into direct contact with her sweaty body when I finally arrived at school.
I smiled bitterly as I looked at her pouting mouth, looking rather disappointed.
"Good morning, Natsukawa."
"Good mor— Oh...!"
He greeted me with a casual greeting. This was indeed a routine event that happened in the morning. I reflexively replied and looked toward the source of the voice. I stopped breathing for a moment when I saw the boy across from Kei.
(—Wataru...)
There was a wry smile on his face, just like on mine. Was it just because Kei was overly excited, to the point that he looked a bit uneasy? It's impossible to be like that, after what happened yesterday, it's impossible for him not to feel awkward. He's probably just pretending that nothing happened, and thinking it's "just another morning". Maybe, like used to.
(Oh...!)
Just raise your hand lightly and say "Good morning!". It was something simple that all the classmates could do easily. However, I couldn't greet Wataru, who was looking straight at me. All I could do was lower my gaze, while the corners of my mouth twitched. No, this was too unnatural.
"...? Did something happen to you two?"
"...!"
"Eh? N-No? Nothing, though?"
Kei, whose lips were pouting, looked around alternately at Wataru and me with a shocked face, as if she had guessed something. I felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest, but Wataru immediately helped me to cover it up. It wasn't a natural response, but I knew that it was still better than me swallowing before I could answer her and say anything.
"It's so hot, let's get to the classroom."
"I'm used to it."
"It's dangerous, isn't it?"
"It's not dangerous, though."
"..."
Wataru quickly changed the subject. I understood what he was trying to do. I wonder if I've ever been able to read his movements this well before. I wonder if he's ever tricked me like this before. When I invited him to my house. When we were alone together in the schoolyard. Then, when we went home together.
I wonder if I ever once knew his true feelings.
"Sajocchi, a while ago, you used to run around a lot at night, didn't you? Summer was the perfect opportunity for you to start doing it again. You're used to it, aren't you?"
"No, I wasn't used to it. What kind of perfect opportunity is that? You see when I ran a lot, it was because I was running for a purpose— ...Oh?"
"Whoa...? What did you drop from there, Sajocchi—Hmm!?"
"Eh...?"
While thinking about it, I tried to change my shoes, but when I saw something fall out of the corner of my eye, I froze. I don't think it fell for more than a second, but I still managed to read a few words carefully.
A piece of white letterhead paper with "Dear Sajou-kun" clearly written in a girl's handwriting. The four edges were sealed with pale-colored sealing wax.
(A love letter to Wataru-...? To Wataru...-?)
It feels like I can almost remember the dream I had today.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
Support Us: https://ko-fi.com/ninjacross
Donations are very much appreciated.
Read in other languages: