Chapter 126The Girl is Still Watching
(TL Note: Still the same as the previous chapters, this chapter uses Aika's POV instead of the narrator's POV.)
Morning Homeroom. While our homeroom teacher, Ootsuki-sensei was preparing something, the classroom was filled with the loud sounds of classmates talking to each other. Despite that, none of them moved from their seats while still talking to each other.
"..."
Usually, that boy was a bit silly. The girls around him often laughed at him, as if they were looking at a mischievous elementary school boy. Hence, I feel like there isn't a single girl who has deep, vague feelings for him in particular. In my opinion, that's the reason why it was so shocking.
My eyes were fixed right at the front of the classroom beside the corridor. The boy I was referring to and my best friend, Kei, seemed to be having more fun than usual. Observing this, the sound of tapping on my desk with my index finger grew louder. This morning, when I woke up from sleep, I felt a different kind of frustration than I usually felt, a frustration that was mixed with other emotions.
(Kei...!)
What did Wataru keep in his pocket? I don't know if it was a love letter full of vague feelings of love. But still, there was no doubt that the letter was of great interest to him and the girl sitting next to him. It was because it was addressed to "Wataru". Because he was a "special boy", he was different from other boys in general.
(Oh... ...It's enough!)
No, that's not the case right now. They looked like they were having fun from my POV, and an outsider's POV, they looked like they were making out. I could guess the reason why this was happening. It was probably because Kei was interested in the contents of the letter addressed to Wataru and she was trying to find out from various angles. The way she did that was unusual.
It was because Kei reached out from behind through her desk as if hugging Wataru and eyeing his pockets.
Of course, I knew that Kei wasn't serious. It was the face of someone who was having fun teasing Wataru, who was acting rather suspiciously because he might have gotten a love letter. He was enjoying the "teasing". Perhaps because she was concentrating on that, she didn't notice how her body came into contact with Wataru's at all.
Not only that, she leaned her body towards Wataru, making the length of her skirt quite dangerous. She stuck her butt out at the boy sitting behind her. I was annoyed by the lack of gender awareness between the two of them, and I was annoyed at Kei for being so helpless.
I felt relieved when I saw Kei who was sitting with a deliberate frown, perhaps she was having a lot of fun. At the same time, my frustration at not being able to warn my best friend directly and my frustration at Wataru for not being able to reprimand her for not being too helpless appeared to me belatedly.
But for a short time, the feeling of alienation that I couldn't express froze the deepest recesses of my heart.
(...I think it's fun.)
I think it's fun. I want to join both of them.
This is my little honest opinion. It would be embarrassing if someone else asked me that. If it was Kei, I'm sure she would have welcomed me and teased me mercilessly.
However, I'm too far away from both of them right now.
♦
(Eh...?)
"...Oh—..."
The change of the seat position was done by Ootsuki-sensei's suggestion. As I finished switching seats quickly, I froze when I saw the face of the boy who came after me. As our eyes met, he looked away awkwardly and sat down in his seat next to the wall right in front of me.
"Eh...!? Did Natsukawa-san get the seat behind Sajou-kun? That's great!"
"I thought Natsukawa had abandoned him before, but it turns out Sajou's persistence is amazing~!"
Aibe-san and Matsuda-kun, who were sitting in the row next to us, were saying such outrageous things. Until not long ago, I never thought anything of it when people threw those things at us. But things are different now than they were then.
(What were they talking about just now...?)
It was an impolite statement and seemed like shaking the rope on the tightrope walker in a playful manner. If it weren't for yesterday's incident, I think it would have caused some awkwardness between us. At the very least, I don't think it's an appropriate thing to talk about directly in front of the person in question.
I looked at Wataru with fear. I couldn't think of any other "natural way" to behave towards him. His awkward eye color didn't change, and no matter how hard it seemed, he made eye contact with me accompanied by a fake smile, which he seemed to be making up.
"...Um, please take care of me!"
"Y-Yeah..."
I can easily understand the feelings of the boy in front of me — Wataru. There was no doubt that he was feeling the same awkwardness that I was experiencing right now. This situation was not good. We just nodded at each other, looked at each other, and somehow managed to catch our breath.
(...Hmm...)
The awkwardness was still there. But a warmth like a small flame from a candle was slowly creeping into my chest.
At that moment, I realized. That's right, Wataru was sitting right in front of me.
(...)
After sitting in his seat, Wataru looked around him timidly. When I saw him, I remembered the conversation between him and Kei just now. They were laughing happily, feeling free, and seemed to forget the difference between boys and girls—.
"...H-Hey!"
"! ...Hmm, what's wrong?"
Before I knew it, I found myself talking to him. Since I didn't expect the conversation to continue like that, I paused before speaking again. After seeing him already sitting in his new seat position, I gathered my courage to bring my face closer to his.
"Well... ...Wh-Why don't you look at it?"
I was also curious about what was in the letter. I didn't need to know what it said. I'm just curious if it's a love letter or not. Kei had interfered a lot in this matter. Even so, I didn't like it when I was the only one holding back and just watching.
"...Aren't you going to peek at me reading it?"
"I-I won't peek at you..."
What did I just say? What an amazing set of words. That part is the difference between Kei and me. I can't tease boys with something as sincere as a love letter. I'm too scared to do that kind of thing and it's gonna make us keep our distance from each other. Kei was able to do that kind of thing probably because of her everyday free spirit.
In that sense, I was a bit envious of Kei, no, maybe more than that.
"...Understood."
I take back what I said earlier. I think Kei lowered her standards for me. Perhaps, if not for that trivial thing, Wataru would have opened the letter after he brought it back to his house. Even now, he would probably refuse to read it.
Wataru reached into his pocket. Would he finally read it? Wait a minute, I can see his hand in the reflection of the window on the left. What should I do, maybe I can take a peek...? No, it's a force majeure. I just happened to see it. No, but that doesn't mean I...
"Alright, then—"
"Sajou-kun, please take care of me!"
"Duh!?"
As I was thinking about this, Okamoto-san, who was sitting on the seat in front of Wataru, looked back. Wataru must have been about to take out the letter when he let out an unusual screeching sound and slammed his right hand on his desk.
(—Gosh!!)
It's not about who's at fault. Yeah, it's just a matter of poor timing for Okamoto-san. Even so, the reason I screamed inwardly was because my head was still filled with thoughts of "What a pity!".
"Oh, no, um, it's nothing! Please take care of me, okay!"
"Please take care of me too. Oh, Natsukawa-san is here too! I'm glad that I can sit near you, Sajou-kun."
"Ugh... ...I see..."
Wataru became hesitant. Then, Okamoto-san, who was there, also said the same words as Aibe-san and Matsuda-kun. In my opinion, I didn't feel their intention to tease us. I finally realized that they could say such words without hesitation.
If you ask me who is to blame for this, I can only think of Wataru. When I think back to those days, I think we did create a fuss regardless of whether we were popular or not. In other words, Wataru's feelings for me and my feelings for him were known to everyone.
(But, now.)
It's no longer the same as before. I think our relationship had changed even before yesterday's incident. When Wataru started to become quiet and I had more opportunities to watch my surroundings, I found myself enjoying those moments and letting them just flow through me. Come to think of it, I guess I got too carried away.
Right now, I understand why Wataru was trying to distance himself from me somewhat. But at the time, I still didn't understand why. Even though only one person was going to disappear from me. I couldn't understand why I felt so disappointed. It wasn't until recently that I realized it was the same feeling I had when Kei wasn't around. Even so, I still forgot about it.
"...? Oh, you mean Shirai-san, huh? No, isn't Shirai-san not sitting beside or in front of Ichinose-san?"
(—!)
The sound I heard startled me. I felt like I was alone and trapped in a deep place. I came back to my senses as I heard Wataru mention "Ichinose-san".
Ichinose-san. Ichinose Mina-san. A petite and quiet girl with long bangs who didn't stand out until before this summer vacation. That was the only impression I had of her, and even until recently, we hadn't spoken to each other. That impression changed drastically in the second term when she cut her bangs short. She had wide, sad eyes with slits in them, and her eyes were always moist, probably because she lacked confidence, and it aroused my desire to protect her. She was so cute that I wanted to be close to her too.
"Lucky you, Sajou-kun because she's so attached to you. I don't know, it seems like Ichinose-san will miss you."
But perhaps she was afraid of attracting attention, for some reason, she hid behind Wataru's back and clung tightly to him. She felt comfortable. She brought her body closer to Wataru's. Wataru's fine with it. It's still fresh in my memory, that I was speechless because I was shocked. I don't think there was anything wrong. After all, I panicked when I put my arm between them in a hurry, because I don't think it's healthy. Of course, it wasn't.
That's true, but the question is why Ichinose-san is so attached to Wataru. No matter how many times I asked, he didn't answer clearly, but I had a pretty good guess. It's because she's the girl from his part-time job during summer vacation. I had heard about that girl a few times, but I could understand why the contents of the story were just content.
However, I'm pretty sure he had a falling out with that girl and somehow managed to recover. Besides, didn't that girl love her big bro so much? So why is she so attached to Wataru?
(Is she not the girl from his part-time job...?)
"Oh, um... ...Yeah, it's okay."
(It's not okay at all.)
I wonder if the both of them have gotten to know each other personally. It made me suspicious that Wataru was like that. After all, there was something about the both of them that made their relationship bond more strongly than themselves in such a short time as summer vacation, which I couldn't accept.
"—Hmm, hmm!"
—Ugh.
I thought I had cleared my throat while thinking that "Ichinose-san" would be a big threat to me, but it turned out to be more far-fetched than I thought. I involuntarily frowned as Wataru and Okamoto-san looked at me curiously.
"That's..."
"Oh, Natsukawa-san. It's not like Sajou-kun is bothering me, though!"
"Eh?"
"Wait, Okamocchan, what kind of report is that?"
Eh, why are you calling Okamoto-san like that?
I almost said it out loud. For some reason, Wataru's words and behavior remained when he interacted with people other than me and my best friend, Kei. I wonder if it was caused by yesterday's incident. What kind of fuzzy feeling is this in my heart? On top of that, the "things that I can't understand and don't convince me" kept piling up again.
"Um... ...Is that so?"
It didn't make sense to show this to others. As I managed to regain my composure, I became curious about what Okamoto-san had said.
"Wataru is a troublemaker." She sounded as if she thought so. It's true, I also thought so when Wataru was still around me. I'm sure according to Okamoto-san, our relationship still hasn't changed from that time.
"Ehehe, I can't wait to witness "Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san" up close~"
(—!!)
I felt as if time had stopped. My ears rejected every sound around me. My hand naturally touched my chest. I wasn't sure if my chest was hurting or not.
"Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san". Is this the story of the conversation where Wataru still follows me around and I treat him as a nuisance? How could Wataru possibly have that kind of conversation with me right now? I understand that Okamoto-san has no malicious intentions. But still, I couldn't help but wonder why she would say such a mean thing.
A bad feeling started to hit my chest. I wonder what Wataru would do after she said that. I wonder if he still has those feelings for me. If he didn't, I wondered if he would pretend to follow me and be near me to the point of pushing himself to death.
I felt anxious and couldn't help but look at Wataru's face.
"We might not be able to meet your expectations, though. Though right? Natsukawa."
"—Ah... ...um... ...Y-Yeah."
His tone was too light. It's hard to tell if he's serious or if he's just pretending.
I think he has chosen good words. I think this is indeed the best way to imply that the old "Sajou-kun and Natsukawa-san" can no longer be shown.
But, what the heck is that?
(...Is that something he said lightly...?)
Even if it's just words in disguise. It might not be for me, but for Wataru, was that moment something he could just say lightly? One more thing piled up that I couldn't accept, and I couldn't help but look down because it was painful.
"Eh... ...Eh? Come to think of it, lately, you guys haven't called each other by nicknames... Ah."
I looked up in shock. At that moment, Okamoto-san's gaze turned away from me and back to Wataru.
(Did she just... ...watch me?)
I don't know what exactly happened. Doubts kept swirling around in my heart. Things that I couldn't digest kept piling up. About Ichinose-san, about yesterday's incident, about the letter addressed to Wataru. About the impressions of the people around us.
Then—
"Th-That's right..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, huh?"
About Wataru's feelings as well.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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