Chapter 180The Confessor's Side
'─ It's okay, you guys should just try dating.'
If possible, I want Sasaki-kun to be able to accept Saitou-san's confession — That's what I'm thinking, but I can also understand the feelings of Sasaki-kun who says that they shouldn't be dating if he doesn't have special feelings for her yet. This is a complicated issue — Although it should be like that, however, Wataru even said so in a very normal tone.
"..."
"..."
I unconsciously bit my lower lip. Wataru's words also made us, who were not talking, fall silent. I'm not sure why that happened. Was it because of disappointment at Sasaki-kun's attitude of not taking his suggestion seriously, or was it because of his response to Sasaki-kun not having romantic feelings for Saitou-san? Although Kei and I should have wanted the two of them to be together, somehow there was a feeling of dissatisfaction that remained in my heart like a faint stain.
'What...!? You little...!? Are you listening to me!? I don't see Saitou-san as a love interest at all, you know?!'
'That's a natural thing, isn't it?'
'...Eh?'
"Eh...?"
Wataru answered immediately. Sasaki-kun's feelings which I considered as a complicated matter, turned out to be a natural thing for Wataru.
When I heard Wataru's firm statement, I immediately understood. I'm sure Wataru must have a strong view on love within himself. Sasaki-kun's anxiety, when compared to Wataru's view of love, had a simple answer. That's why, I don't think Wataru needs to think about it too seriously.
As a result of relieving my dissatisfaction, my interest in Wataru's thoughts began to grow. A realm that was unknown to me. A realm that I should have been able to understand, but just missed without realizing it. I felt that if I missed this opportunity, I might not be able to understand it again.
'Let's talk about common sense. How many couples in this world do you think started from mutual love?'
'The mutual love...?'
'That's right, mutual love.'
The mutual love. The perfect form of love. Maybe that's the ultimate goal in the journey of loving someone. I just admired that state without ever thinking about it deeply.
'Come to think of it, even if there are... ...I don't think there are many?'
'That's right, isn't it?'
I felt like I had an epiphany. Come to think of it, I might have had the idea in my mind that 'Couples should have mutual love' as a natural thing. If that thought was true, I realized that the standard for a loving relationship was too high.
'A confession is a "request". We bow our heads to ask someone to date us. We beg the other person to be our partner. Don't we do that because we realize that we have "unrequited love"?'
'B-But... ...someone can do that even if they already have mutual love, isn't it?'
'The only thing that's there is the hope "May we both have mutual love". If we knew that we already have mutual love, we wouldn't need the courage to declare our love and just suggest "What if we start dating?". It's just a procedure to form a relationship as a couple. It's a natural thing, just like you just think of Saitou-san as a normal girl.'
'...Ugh...'
Sasaki-kun seemed to want to say something, but he could only open his mouth and close it again. I think he wanted to refute Wataru's statement, but he didn't know what to say.
Although Wataru had already given his answer, it seemed that Sasaki-kun was still not satisfied. After moving his eyes for a moment, finally, Sasaki-kun replied to Wataru's words.
'Because it's a natural thing... ...then, are you encouraging me to go out with Saitou-san? Are you encouraging me to ignore Saitou-san's confession that she did so boldly and tremblingly, just because it's a natural thing...?'
'I didn't go that far.'
'You went to that just now, though!'
'You little... ...aren't you consulting with me just because you want to learn from me, who is more experienced in romance?'
Sasaki-kun's voice was full of anger. Wataru lowered the tips of his eyebrows in annoyance, then grabbed the shoulder of Sasaki-kun who was breathing heavily and stopped him while saying "Listen to my explanation first!".
For Sasaki-kun, whose heart was moved by Saitou-san's sincerity, hearing it talked about as a natural thing without emotion might be intolerable. In fact, I also felt some sadness when listening to this conversation. I didn't expect that the view of love in Wataru was based on such accumulated logic.
'Look, maybe you misunderstood, but I'm on "Saitou-san's Side". I'm not speaking from your fancy point of view as "The Confessed to Side", and I can't speak from that point of view in the first place.'
'"Saitou-san's Side", you say...? Did you mean to speak by putting yourself in the same position as Saitou-san just now?'
'That's right. At least for the "The Confessor's Side", there is the concept of victory and defeat. If we succeed in courting the person we like, that's victory. If we can't do that, that's defeat. Even if we declare love just based on a good feeling, it will only hurt us. This also applies to Saitou-san. It makes no difference whether it's a boy or a girl. First of all, when we fall in love, we are in a very weak position.'
'...'
'The side that fall in love first has no rights. Even if we've been rejected for a reason, we can't sue for cause. Even if we've been cruelly rejected, we can't complain. It's only natural, because we're in a position where we impose our own convenience and even call that person to confessed unilaterally.'
Wataru spoke quickly without showing his anger, and Sasaki-kun didn't seem to be upset and could only listen. The same thing is also happened with me. We won't know how the confessor feels when confronted with their crush unless we actually put ourselves in that position.
Words like natural things, procedure, victory and defeat — which seem to have nothing to do with the feeling of love being brought up here — are probably values that Wataru has gained from his experience as one of 'The Confessor's Side'. In other words, Saitou-san who is currently in the same position and may also think the same, or perhaps he will realize it in the future.
'I used careless words like "You guys should try dating" because Saitou-san is in that weak position. Right now, you're in a position where you can do anything to Saitou-san.'
'I won't do anything like that!'
'But, I'm sure Saitou-san must have been prepared for that.'
'...Ugh...!'
From Wataru's tone, it seems that Saitou-san didn't think that she understood Sasaki-kun completely when confessing to him. Perhaps she also considered the possibility that she could see Sasaki-kun's hidden side that wasn't really there when confessing. Did she confessed to Sasaki-kun after understanding that...?
At first, Wataru talked about love as a natural thing without emotion. Then in response, he spoke from Saitou-san's point of view, showing a strong determination to oppose selfishness based on feelings of love. If these two sides, joys and sorrows — both flat and full of emotions — were combined in the concept of love, then it would be too cruel if there were no couples based on unrequited love.
'—In the midst of such a situation, Saitou-san probably made Sasaki difficult and managed to accept the word "postponed".'
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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