Chapter 178How to Convinced
Sasaki-kun asked Wataru to listen to him seriously. When Wataru said, 'But I thought I was being serious enough!,' Sasaki-kun sighed and shrugged his shoulders in disappointment. The words 'I see...!' from Wataru’s mouth were filled with a sense of realization. It seemed like he knew something about Sasaki-kun's little sis' story.
'Well... ...let's discuss that thing another time."
Sasaki-kun stood up and looked at Wataru seriously once more. Without directly looking at Sasaki-kun, Wataru responded while fidgeting with the nutritional jelly in his hand.
'It seems like you didn't immediately accept Saitou-san's confession. I started paying a little more attention to the way you two interacted. At first, I was wondering, "What’s up with this boy?"'
'That's not it, first of all, we're not even dating yet.'
'Huh? Aren't you two already dating? You seemed pretty close when you were talking in class.'
'That's, well—...'
Sasaki-kun stammered.
I had the same question as Wataru. If Saitou-san confessed to Sasaki-kun this afternoon, then the conversation between Sasaki-kun, who was wearing a dog costume, and Saitou-san in the classroom after we finished cleaning up from the first day of the Cultural Festival must have happened after they had expressed their feelings for each other. If they could talk like that after confessing their feelings, it was only natural for us to assume that Sasaki-kun had already accepted Saitou-san's confession.
Moreover, Wataru's words also piqued my curiosity. Didn't he sound as if he was saying that Sasaki-kun dating Saitou-san wasn't a good idea? When I started to think that Wataru might have said that just because he was jealous of them, my heart suddenly felt cold.
'...I've postponed giving her my answer. I told her to give me some time to think about it...'
"Eh...?"
I was shocked to hear Sasaki-kun's words. It really takes courage to confess your feelings to someone you love. For the person involved, it might be a once-in-a-lifetime event. And Sasaki-kun asked Saitou-san for time to think about it...?
She wouldn't know if her confession would be accepted, and perhaps she was constantly afraid that it would be rejected. In that kind of situation, how must Saitou-san have felt when she faced Sasaki-kun in class and acted so boldly? It might have been easier for Saitou-san if she had been rejected outright when she confessed to him.
Thinking about how Saitou-san must feel made my chest tighten.
For the first time in my life, I found it hard to accept Sasaki-kun's attitude. However, when I caught a glimpse of his serious expression from a distance behind Wataru, the heated feelings that had been building up inside me instantly faded away. Why did he have that kind of expression?
"…"
Kei remained silent. I couldn't read her expression from above. She definitely wasn't asleep, and she was probably listening to their conversation intently.
'Hmm.'
That was all Wataru said as he leaned his upper body back. It wasn't a tone that sounded like he was judging Sasaki-kun. It seemed more like he understood the situation and was trying to convince Sasaki-kun about something. Despite his brief words, I didn't get the impression that they were just said casually.
Maybe there's a specific reason behind all of this. No matter how turbulent his situation or feelings may be, only Sasaki-kun can truly understand what’s going on within himself. Even though I feel a sense of righteous anger, I can’t just suddenly jump out and confront the two of them from here. I decided to listen calmly, just like Wataru and Kei were doing.
"First of all, why didn't you just reject her confession immediately? If that's the case, tell me. Honestly, I was already surprised when you asked her for time to think it over."
"..."
"…"
There must be a reason why Wataru said that. I was sure of it, based on his tone, which made it seem like it was a natural thing to ask, and Sasaki-kun's reaction to it. There's definitely something only the two of them know. Even though I'm not Kei, I couldn't help but feel a little envious of their relationship.
'Because Sasaki, you are already—'
'Sajou, don't bother.'
'...Huh?'
'Don't bother. About that.'
'Huh?'
The second question was asked by Wataru to Sasaki-kun in a rather sharp tone. Wataru's eyes that seemed to say 'I don't believe' were directed at Sasaki-kun. I don't think Wataru was angry. He looked almost confused.
'...Why? Could it be, without my knowledge, you have already confessed to her—?"
'No, I haven't confessed to her.'
'...'
Wataru shrugged his shoulders after hearing Sasaki-kun who spoke so firmly. I think he had difficulty in responding.
Again, the word 'confession' appears here. And I think, from what I heard, it's not about Sasaki-kun and Saitou-san. They're talking about a girl other than Saitou-san. From what I can deduce, it seems that Sasaki-kun had liked another girl long before Saitou-san confessed to him. However, Sasaki-kun implied that he had already given up on that girl.
"...Aichi."
"No, it's okay. I'm just a bit bored with this position."
I detached myself from the wall I was pressed against and sat behind Kei. Unconsciously, I hugged my knees as if to protect myself, probably because I also had a similar experience somewhere.
'Did you feel relieved with that?'
'Yeah, I felt relieved.'
'Back then, I confessed my love for Natsukawa so many times that I got bored of her. Even so, it still didn't work. It was precisely because of that that I was able to convince. That's why the two of us have such a relationship now.'
"—...!"
My heart skipped a beat when I heard my name suddenly mentioned here. Perhaps that was Wataru's true feelings right now.
Once, when we both met a girl from the same middle school on our way home from school, Wataru stated that his relationship with me was "finished." However, it didn't seem to reflect Wataru's feelings in it.
After hearing that, I couldn't just think something as simple as "If it's over, that means we can start all over again". Because the days where I kept rejecting Wataru's confession might have left a very deep wound in his heart, and there was a possibility that I might still continue to make him feel hurt until now.
However, Wataru didn't say anything when he interacted with me. Precisely because of that, I was afraid to take it seriously. There were too many things I couldn't understand about Wataru because I just kept rejecting his confession. Although on the surface, he seemed normal, perhaps in his heart, he was screaming in pain. I could only speak hesitantly, and I still didn't have the courage to go deeper into Wataru's heart.
However, Wataru was already convinced.
That realization felt like pulling a thorn out of my chest. There was indeed a sharp pain. However, it felt like a pain that I shouldn't just forget.
'I don't think I can imagine my past self being able to convince without saying anything to her. Just like what you're going through right now.'
'Then, Sajou, you should think about the differences between you and me.'
'Differences...?'
'Back then, did you already have a love rival? Was there a boy nearby who also fell in love with Natsukawa before you and confessed to her sincerely? At least, I've seen that very clearly since I enrolled this high school.'
'Ugh...!'
Wataru let out a voice that clearly showed his shock that I could understand. As I peeked over, Wataru's face was slightly flushed, probably as if he was remembering those days. Inevitably, my face also heated up. Back then, Wataru always said words that gave me goosebumps. It's unbelievable when compared to the current Wataru. Taking advantage of the situation where no one was looking at me, I fanned my face with both hands.
'That's what I meant. That's the difference between me and Sajou. In my case, I realized that there was no chance for me to take advantage of it.'
'No, that's not true—'
'Yeah, it's true. That's how I see it. It is indeed not something that Sajou can say. — Precisely because of that, I convinced and now I feel relieved.'
'...'
Although it was embarrassing, it was true. Wataru's love life and Sasaki-kun's love life are two different things. I don't think there's a right way to end feelings for the girls they like. Maybe the girl Sasaki-kun likes right now pays more attention to his love rival and also reciprocates his feelings.
'What do you think, do you have any complaints?'
'...There was, but I don't think so.'
'Which one, though?!'
Wataru's answers were confusing and inconsistent. Sasaki-kun patted Wataru's shoulder while chuckling, even though it was Sasaki-kun who should be asking for advice, somehow the atmosphere was like Wataru was being amused by Sasaki-kun.
"─Aichi, are you convinced yet?"
"Eh...?"
"It's about Sajocchi."
"..."
In a low voice, Kei, who was kneeling down, turned to me and asked me, who was standing behind her in a prostrate position. I'm sure Kei also had her own thoughts after hearing Wataru and Sasaki-kun's conversation, since she often saw me and Wataru up close.
The answer was obvious — I wasn't convinced yet.
The reason is my stubborn personality. At first, I was confused by the "why" and "how" questions, but now I'm starting to understand. Back then, I didn't try to see Wataru's face. It's no surprise that Wataru eventually got fed up with me and already disliked me. Even though I'm the one who rejected his confession, I instead grabbed his back, he was already moving away from me. No matter how I thought about it, it was just a selfish act on my part.
And that still hasn't changed to this day. I can't imagine that these hands of mine stopped trying to grab his back. The back that I had grabbed was indeed warm to the point that even though I only felt it once, that sensation was too comfortable for me to forget.
"─That's it."
Kei chuckled while feeling amused as I shook my head shyly.
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
Support Us: https://ko-fi.com/ninjacross
Donations are very much appreciated.
Special Thanks to Our One and Only Monthly Supporter: Mr. Ads.
Follow Our Official WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaRa6nHCsU9OAB0U370F
Read in other languages: