Chapter 148Now, Go Forward!
"N-Natsukawa...?"
"Y-Yeah..."
Why? How come? Even though those doubts were swirling around me, I didn't think to rub my eyes to confirm if the scene before me was an illusion. The intuition I'd acquired over the years told me that she wasn't an illusion. But still, I found it strange that Natsukawa was still here at this moment when the last hour of school was almost upon us.
When I called out to her, Natsukawa approached me slowly and awkwardly, then stopped in front of me.
In the classroom at dusk. To my sluggish eyes, the sight alone was mysterious and extraordinary, let alone Natsukawa stopping in front of me. Similar to the moon shining beautifully in the sunlight, Natsukawa looked even more cute and beautiful than usual when the sun was setting.
"G-Goddess..."
"Wh...—What did you say suddenly...?"
"No, yeah, it's just... ...I just got hit by a dusk correction."
"I-I see."
Dusk... ...I have imitated the deeds of a sinner. I couldn't help but say exactly what I was thinking. So, is this what people call being impressed? It came out of my mouth without me realizing it. I tried to do it, breaking all my rationality. If this was between a boy and a girl who had never met before, it would be the start of a simple romance.
"...I see, so you haven't returned to your home yet? I thought Natsukawa had already arrived home since you said that you wanted to meet Airi-chan as soon as possible."
"Th-That... —Th—... ...That means, I've been waiting for you..."
"Eh?"
"I-I was... ...waiting for you."
"Eh?"
Eh? What does that mean? I'm very happy. That's so cute. That's so cute.
Why are you saying that while shaking? Isn't that an offense? I couldn't help but ask her back because I didn't want to listen to that anymore....
"...Eh? Why?"
The words just came out in the form of a whisper. Again, I did it without realizing it. This is what I said when the girl I liked said, "I'm waiting for you" to me. That's too cheeky.
...However, I indeed have some doubts. The relationship between me and Natsukawa, and the awkwardness arising from the recent events. She must have known that the conversation wouldn't continue when we were alone together, so I don't understand why she bothered to wait for me.
"...I want to talk to Wataru..."
"..."
The answer returned to the question I had been waiting for. I felt a shiver of surprise inside my chest that I couldn't hide. His answer made me even more confused.
Why did you want to talk to me? Why did it happen at this time of the day? Aren't we both in an awkward relationship? Those questions and doubts kept coming to my mind.
"Um, is there something bothering you...?"
"Y-Yeah, something is bothering me... ...Yeah... ...Something like that, maybe."
I think my predicted answer was close to her real answer. After thinking for a moment, Natsukawa nodded somewhat depressed. Well, if it's indeed something bothering her, it's understandable that she would suddenly want to discuss it with me. Moreover, if it was something related to her being a member of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee, I could listen to her story without any ill will.
"Heh...? ...What's wrong?"
"Um, recently... ...No. It was probably quite a while ago, though..."
The hesitation in Natsukawa was obvious as she spoke. Is it okay for her to talk about this with me? Won't she regret it if she talks about it with me? I think she has that kind of conflict. It would probably be the same if I were Natsukawa. After all, the other party, this Sajou Wataru... ...When I think about whether I'm the right person for Natsukawa to talk to, I can't help but wonder.
But still, since I was asked to do something, I would do my best to respond.
"—I wonder If I was helpful...?"
"Eh?"
This time, my voice came out consciously. This was a denial of Natsukawa's turmoil. Has Natsukawa been helpful? That's obvious. I think she's been very helpful. I don't understand why she felt so pessimistic after doing her work so earnestly.
"I wonder if I was helpful... ...how?"
"This time... ...you just did what you were told and made a decision..."
"No, I'm still a first-year student, so isn't it only natural?"
I think she's a great person because she's willing to take her role seriously. Usually, people don't want to be members of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee because they're too lazy to do a lot of work, and most likely, there are more of them who were chosen because they lost in the rock-paper-scissor game. Although they could have been blamed by their classmates for being collectively responsible, I think they deserve a thumbs up, as they were still able to continue working on the work without saying a word. I wonder, where did their motivation come from?
"But..."
"...?"
But, no words came after that, and when I turned around, I found Natsukawa looking straight at me. Although it seemed like she wanted to say something, it seemed like she couldn't find the right words to put it into words. Is it possible that what I've done is causing trouble for Natsukawa...?
"No, I—"
In my case... ...O-Oh, that's right. Come to think of it, I feel like I was very excited. It's not surprising that people might be curious. Even though all I did was follow Gou-senpai around, come to think of it, I don't think it's something a first-year student would naturally do.
"Oh—... ...Um, first of all, I'm an outsider, right? Moreover, what I'm doing is a bit out of my ordinary... ...It's very out of line. Indeed, it's very unnatural for a student to hire contractors from other places to help with the preparation for the Cultural Festival... ...There's no "good" to it because there's no point in getting involved in that kind of thing and doing the work well."
"Why...?"
"No, therefore—"
What I can say is that this is a very special act. Although until previous years, students from wealthy families on the "West" Side had taken the lead in doing the same thing, it was cheating. It sounds good to be able to shrug it off with words like "cutting everything off", but in reality, it is an act of extortion done with the money. This is certainly not a good thing to do as a student. Although there are some difficult parts, it's not something that should be praised at all.
However, to reveal this whole story to Natsukawa as it is was...
"—Why would you help us to that extent...?"
"Eh...? ...Eh?"
Oh, is that the story you were referring to in the first place? Why would I do that?
I think I misunderstood Natsukawa's question. I think she didn't want me to answer her question by showing my dark side. That's good, though — No, wait a minute. Does she want me to tell her about it? Does Natsukawa want me to tell her about it? Wouldn't that be too much?
"Why would Wataru want to do this...?"
"No, that's—"
"Why...? ...How could you want to do the work that hard?"
"...Natsukawa?"
I don't think she said that because she was very curious. Although I thought so, Natsukawa's words seemed to contain desperation.
I was thinking of a way to dodge this question. This is one thing I shouldn't reveal to her. I thought that if I composed such words to divert her, Natsukawa might be convinced. But...
"I was surprised when Wataru first came here. You helped me as if you already knew everything, and then you gave instructions to us together with a senpai and even participated in the meeting we had.... ...for some reason. And when I found out that the Student Council was also in danger for some reason, I guess you tried your best to help your Big Sis."
"Oh—..."
"—But, Wataru firmly said "No!"."
"Th-That's, though... ...Oh, you see, we're siblings, you see. I can't say embarrassing words to you like "for Big Sis' sake" directly, right? The two of us weren't that close, to begin with."
"That's a lie. I was watching you at that time. You didn't look like you had a stupid or angry expression on your face. I've known Wataru since we were in middle school."
"..."
A voice that sounded like it was chasing me. This was not a situation that I could easily trick. There was nothing I could do from the start. Do I have no choice but to talk about this frankly to her with a flushed face...?
No, but why? Why would Natsukawa care about such a thing? I understand that she's curious as to why I, an outsider, am trying so hard to get involved in this. But it's not about Ashida or Sasaki, it's about me. It's about me that she never knew until now.
"...Why do you want to know more about it so badly?"
I climbed up to lean on the table because I knew that it would be considered a rude gesture by her. I don't mind being a bit impolite so that I can change this atmosphere. I don't want her to hate me again, but I don't mind if it's just a little bit.
"...I-I don't know."
"Then isn't that good?"
Normally, I would answer any question with a quick answer, as long as it was another question. But not for this one. I can't answer it directly at the moment. It was awkward between the two of us a few days ago, but we finally came to a point where we could feel comfortable with each other. If I went to the trouble of saying something to get Natsukawa's attention, she would realize it again and it would only make the atmosphere even more awkward and strange.
For Natsukawa, right now I'm just her classmate, her friend, a temporary place to vent for her. Together with Ashida, we are a group that gets together quite often. How will she react when a boy she doesn't like tells her, "I'm doing this for your sake!" after she rejected me so many times? It's too much of a stretch for me to say that since we're just friends. Those kinds of things are bound to cause unnecessary complications and distractions.
"N-No..."
"..."
"No.".
This is a common expression used when children dislike something. The fact that such words came out of the mouth of Natsukawa, who was a big sister figure was too much for Gap Moe. It seems that I'm going to be purified. Is there no limit to this rather sudden attack?
"..."
I felt disappointed. I could only let out a small sigh. I didn't mean it in a bad way. It was just that it felt a bit silly to think about it. Come to think of it, I wondered what I had been worrying about. Maybe I don't need to worry about my relationship with Natsukawa right now.
After a few twists and turns, we started talking again. It was an unexpected occurrence and almost like a wonderful gift. "I don't want Natsukawa to hate me again." Those were words from me that contradicted myself. That in itself was proof that I still had high expectations of Natsukawa. What should I do to put my words in order? In the end, I couldn't let go of my passion for Natsukawa. An ulterior motive. My depth is so shallow that it makes me laugh.
I'll just say it.
Will it be awkward? I don't care. If that was the case, it didn't matter that our relationship would be awkward and I would be isolated. There's no point in me trying to keep my distance right now. Why am I dancing by myself? I'm sure Natsukawa must have forgotten about such things and moved on with her life. That's why I'm trying so hard to get involved with her. I'm the only one who thinks of evil things. Come on, it's time for me to move on. It's too late now. It's too late now. It's too late now.
"Natsukawa, you see—"
This is a beautiful view of the sun setting. This is the perfect situation. In the classroom at dusk. A view that I will probably never see again on my way home. I rarely get an opportunity like this. That's why I must leave some memories in this view. Let's take some thoughts from our hearts. All that needs to be done right now is to close it. It's okay at this time. No matter how it turns out, I won't regret it. Therefore—
" "
Let's loosen the chains just a bit, to find a solution.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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