[Warning 15+]
Epilogue 1The Ideal Ending
Then, I...
I stopped hanging out with them.
I'd arrive at school on time, then spend my time somewhere else until the bell rang before class started.
During class, I just focused on studying without talking much. During group work, I'd only talk just enough so as not to disturb anyone, then leave everything to my classmates.
During lunch break, I always looked for a quiet spot to eat alone. Since it would be noticeable if I always sat at the same table, I've also eaten in places like inside the gymnasium storage room or behind the trash cans.
I quit the club activity. After all, I was about to graduate anyway, and there weren't any major tournaments left. Using a flimsy excuse like wanting to focus on my studies from now on, I just quit the club activity without holding a farewell party—or even saying goodbye.
Since the second term had just started, I decided to decline re-election as Class Rep. My Homeroom Teacher, Mr. Shimo Kitazawa, kept asking me why, but I turned him down using the same excuse I'd used when I quit the club activity.
Most of my classmates actually distanced themselves from me as if it were perfectly normal. However, a few people, like Kamiizumi-chan, were actually worried about me and tried to say hello.
But since I felt that a half-hearted attitude was pointless, I decided to ignore them completely.
Actually, not going to school was the best choice… …but since I couldn't let my parents worry, at home I acted as if nothing had changed.
After spending every day creating and telling stories that never actually happened, I've become a little more skilled at crafting engaging coming-of-age stories.
But those coming-of-age novels I used to love so much—I don't even open them anymore.
─At least this way, no one will ever again be unable to laugh because of their connection to me.
All I have to do is isolate this unusual, unconventional side of myself. That way, I can make it happen.
So… …there's no reason not to do it, right?
With that mindset, I went about my days full of enthusiasm.
─But.
Some time passed, and then one day.
"─We've received reports that bullying is rampant in this class."
Oh….
Why on Earth did it come to this…?
"You guys… …when did you become this bad? It's truly shameful—I'm at a loss for words."
Mr. Shimo Kitazawa's voice was filled with anger.
The classroom suddenly fell silent.
"Don't think that just because this is a preparatory middle school, everything can be forgiven. The school will take firm action."
─I...
Can't I live without having a relationship with anyone?
Whether I'm in a relationship or not.
No matter what I do, am I really the kind of person who makes everyone suffer?
─I've made another mistake.
And just like that, another smile from all of us vanished.
◆
Around the same time, talk arose about Dad's transfer.
This time, Dad's transfer was to Kyokoku City, his hometown. I don't really understand much about his job, but I think this could be considered a promotion.
During the family meeting, the convo proceeded on the assumption that only Dad would be moving by himself—.
"I… …want to go too."
Yeah, I really wanted it.
My parents were surprised to hear my suggestion, and they tried to dissuade me by saying I didn't need to push myself since I was already attending a middle school that offered a preparatory education program.
But since this was the one thing I couldn't compromise on, I came up with all sorts of reasons to convince them.
Finally, our whole family moved into a rented room at my paternal grandparents' house—and I took the entrance exam for the local high school.
─Thank goodness.
This way, we won't have to bother everyone anymore.
If the root of all these problems is gone, then there'll be no need to beat up the traitor who tattled to the teachers, or to blame each other by saying so-and-so is at fault; None of that will be necessary anymore.
Everyone will surely go back to the way they were before—cheerful and friendly people.
We can pretend none of this ever happened and start over in high school.
"Class 3-A, right? It's already a total mess, isn't it?" "That's the result of their own actions. Bullying is just so stupid." "They have no manners, do they? They just tear each other down," "Their grades have plummeted too," "They say the situation is so bad that next year they'll be separated," "Oh, so does that mean we might end up in the same class again?" "Ugh, please, no. I don't want anything to do with those troublemakers," "We'd better just stay away from them. Their stupidity might rub off on us," "Agreed!"
─I could faintly hear chatter from another classroom.
─….
What should I do…?
I mean… …actually, what should I do…?
◆
Then─.
I, until the very end.
Without being able to choose whether to do something or do nothing.
Without ever seeing those moments when everyone laughed from the bottom of my heart.
I left Akagawa Academy Private Middle School.
…Someday.
I used to talk with Mi-chan—those days were just like something out of a coming-of-age novel—.
Because I kept chasing my ideals and only made the best choices I could.
In the end, everything ended in the worst possible way.
◆
—I thought hard.
What should I do next, I wondered.
If things keep going like this, even if I transfer to a new school, nothing will change.
Someday, I might end up facing the same outcome again.
But it's not good to get involved, and it's not good to stay out of it either.
If just my presence there is enough to throw everything into disarray,
Then, no matter what….
"…If only I weren't myself."
In the pitch-black bedroom, that meaningless murmur echoed.
─.
─…?
"If only I weren't myself─"
─Oh.
That's true. Could it be?
No matter what you do, never try too hard.
Take it easy, give up every now and then, and sometimes make the wrong choices.
Don't stand out, don't force your opinions on others, and never become a leader.
I don't belong to any close-knit circle of friends; Instead, I treat everyone at the same distance and only maintain relationships that aren't all that important—whether they're there or not, it makes no difference.
As for besties—I'll never have any.
I don't choose the best.
I don't pursue my ideals.
I'm not true to myself.
─That's true.
Ordinary people can't accept that because it's such an unusual aspiration.
The meaning is:
So that everyone can laugh─.
"I─ ─'m 'fine' just being 'ordinary.'"
What on Earth is this…?
It turns out it's easy after all.
If that's all it takes, everyone can laugh again.
If only everyone wouldn't have to suffer because of me—.
"There's no reason not to do it… …is there?"
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
RP: Angga Kun
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