[Warning 15+]
Chapter 5Reality
The next day, after the Cultural Festival had ended and the compensatory holiday had passed.
I got off the crowded train, then walked out of the station area, bobbing along in the sea of people.
As my body was exposed to the thick, overcast sky, my hair immediately became a mess, tossed about by the strong wind blowing off the buildings.
The wind blowing through the city suddenly turned cold, and the heat from the Cultural Festival was no longer felt. It seemed like summer had truly come to an end.
As I smoothed my hair with my fingers, I let out a heavy sigh and said, "Hah…"
─Even though this year's Cultural Festival was riddled with problems and went terribly wrong...
Thanks to our hard work, we finally managed to win the top award.
When the results were announced, before I even had a chance to feel happy, I actually felt relieved; A sense of wanting to rest for a moment truly washed over my entire body. In my opinion, postponing the After-Party to the next day was definitely the right decision.
I myself was completely overwhelmed by everything, so that day I just collapsed into my bed without thinking about anything.
Then, I spent the night not knowing if I’d be able to sleep or not, and when morning came, my mood hadn’t changed; The day off passed in a daze—and before I knew it, it was back to school as usual.
As I stared at the tips of my shoes, which were trudging forward, I sighed again.
To be honest… …going to school feels like such a burden.
After all, I have to face Zomu-kun’s public confession.
But that doesn't mean skipping school will solve the problem, and constantly avoiding the situation won't do any good either. I can only do the best I can in a situation like this.
…Anyway.
First of all, let's get my relationship with Zomu-kun back on track.
Try talking to Zomu-kun seriously. We need to figure out why he did something like that and what he plans to do going forward.
On the day of the Cultural Festival, neither of us was in a state of mind that allowed us to talk calmly, but now we should be able to talk a little more calmly.
The ideal scenario would be to pretend that the confession never happened and go back to being close friends.
So that we can laugh together again. We need to start this relationship over.
"But, eh…"
At a point like this, it's—.
◆
Before I knew it, I had arrived at school.
When I checked the time, it was almost time for the warning bell. I usually try to arrive early, but I guess I unconsciously slowed my pace.
"Hah…"
After letting out a sigh—I'd lost count of how many times I'd done it—I stepped through the elevator doors.
Why… …did Zomu-kun go so far as to… …confess to me, I wonder?
It should've been obvious a long time ago that I wouldn't accept Zomu-kun. Especially in a way like that—there’s no way I'd agree.
Even though it was clear it would fail before I even tried, why did Zomu-kun choose that path, I wonder?
Really, why… …did it have to turn out like this?
Where am I, really, and where did I go wrong?
Even though I've repeatedly made choices that I thought were the best at the time, then why—.
"…Didn't I tell you that wouldn't work?"
During the break, I realized I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of thoughts, so I shook my head.
Enough is enough; I'm going to stop thinking about it. Besides, I'll never find the answer, though.
Anyway, I'm going to talk to Zomu-kun first. As for what happens next, I'll think about that later.
After deciding that, I paused for a moment in front of the classroom.
─With my classmates, just like usual.
They might be curious, but for now I'll just brush it off, and later, when I have the chance, I'll explain it to each of them individually.
"Okay," I said, nodding once, then opening the door with a loud bang.
"Hey, guys, good morning!"
Yeah, I walked into the classroom in my usual mood.
Inside, some of my classmates had already arrived. As usual, I tried to take my seat while saying hello to people as they passed by—.
For a moment, I felt as if I'd walked into the wrong classroom.
"""""""""""─…"""""""""""
My classmates just gave me a quick glance.
No one returned my greeting.
"U-Um..."
The classroom, which had been silent for a moment, soon became noisy again.
…?
What on Earth… …is going on?
Hesitantly, I walked over to my seat and greeted Komaba-chan, who was sitting next to me.
"Eh… …good morning, Komaba-chan."
"…Morning."
…Thank goodness. This time, Komaba-chan returned my greeting.
For a moment, I did feel relieved, but Komaba-chan didn't say anything else and immediately turned her face away. Not even a bit of small talk—that's really rare.
I set my bag on the desk, then looked around my classroom.
Zomu-kun… …he's not here, is he? His bag is there, so maybe he just stepped away from his seat for a moment.
It looks like Mi-chan isn't here either. The only one left in our group is Ōmori-kun, who, as usual, is engrossed in playing with his smartphone all by himself in the back row.
Also, Mattsun's seat is empty. I did hear that he said he'd stop by the hospital via RINE before coming here, but is he going to be late?
Next, I observed the expressions on my classmates' faces—the same ones that had looked strange earlier.
Some resumed chatting as if the silence had never happened, some looked down at their worksheets, and others cast awkward glances in my direction─.
In addition, there were some who stared at me with clearly displeased expressions.
─Those were the girls who had a crush on Zomu-kun.
"…"
When I felt that clear hostility firsthand, I found it hard to breathe.
…I had actually expected this might happen.
I already knew how they felt, and every time I was asked if I was in a romantic relationship with Zomu-kun, I always denied it.
In fact, some of them even asked me for advice, and I answered them. That confession of love—which must have felt like a betrayal of their trust—must have offended them.
I'll have to apologize to each of them individually….
My heart felt heavy again, so I sat down, my body sinking into the seat.
─Shortly afterward, the announcement bell rang, and the morning homeroom meeting began.
Perhaps because he felt uncomfortable in the classroom, Zomu-kun returned right on time, then immediately sat down at his desk without saying a word.
Out of the corner of my eye, Zomu-kun's face clearly looked pale and listless; after all, he didn't seem to be doing well.
…Why, I wonder, did it have to turn out like this─?
◆
Lunch break.
With firm resolve, I stood up and left the classroom.
I'd already sent Zomu-kun a message via RINE: "I want to have a serious talk with you. Please come to the side of the tennis courts." There was no turning back now.
I left the bustling school grounds and headed to the back of the building where the tennis courts were located. Since it was lunchtime, the area was deserted, so we should be able to talk in peace.
Feeling down, I sat on a nearby bench, staring at the overcast sky as I waited for Zomu-kun.
"─Mei."
Hearing that voice—which should have been familiar to me—my chest tightened.
"…Zomu-kun."
Hearing my reply, Zomu-kun turned awkwardly, then slipped his hand into my pocket and walked toward me.
Since the pocket was bulging unnaturally, Zomu-kun's hands must have been clenched tightly inside it.
To make things feel more relaxed, I let the corners of my mouth turn up slightly and began to speak slowly.
"Thanks for coming. I really want to talk about this with you."
"…"
"Want to sit down first?"
"…No, it's okay."
As Zomu-kun said that, he stood in front of me, slightly to my left.
As I looked at Zomu-kun's face, he did indeed look sad.
Zomu-kun's usual innocent smile was nowhere to be seen.
"…I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."
"Why are you the one apologizing, Mei? I'm the one who did everything wrong."
Hearing that answer, spoken in such a despairing tone, I bit my lip tightly.
"Even so… …it was me who hurt you. It was also me who couldn't live up to your expectations. So… …please forgive me."
"…"
"But why… …when you must have known this was going to happen? Why did you do something like that?"
In response to my question, Zomu-kun let out a sigh, saying, "Hah," then shrugged.
"I'm kind of stupid, though… …Actually, I don't really like holding back, y'know."
As Zomu-kun said that, he snorted softly.
"Holding back…?"
"It means I'm suppressing my own feelings."
Then, Zomu-kun looked up at the sky and began to speak.
"From the very beginning… …I've liked you for a long time. Ever since sixth grade, the whole time."
"…"
"At first, I just thought, 'Wow, this girl is so pretty, I want to get closer to her,' with just a casual feeling. But after I talked to you, it turned out you're twice as pretty as I imagined, 10 times cooler, and 💯 times better than I imagined—"
"…"
"Then, it turned out you're 10,000 times stronger than I imagined. It even made me think, 'Maybe for the rest of my life, I'll never meet anyone more amazing than you.'"
…I’m a strong person, right?
If I were really strong, things wouldn't have turned out like this….
"I feel like, if we're together, maybe I can become a strong person too. If that's the case, maybe someday I'll be on the same level as Mei, I thought."
"That's pretty silly, though," said Zomu-kun dismissively.
"So, I really want to be as close to you as possible. Even though it's impossible for us to date, we can still be friends, right? That's why, even though it's not my style, I'll pretend to be the obedient type and do everything I can to make sure no one else takes that spot."
"…"
"But, here's the thing—"
I could hear the sound of teeth clenched tightly.
"I feel like, 'Only Asahi is truly amazing.' He's different from me—he's smart, and not only that, he's also great at so many things, right? So, isn't it possible that he could be in a position much closer to Mei than I am… …that's how it is."
Oh─.
So.
"So… …I started thinking, 'If Asahi's already beaten me to it, well, then it's impossible, isn't it?'"
As it turned out….
That was what triggered it, wasn't it.
Zomu-kun exhaled again before speaking.
"But Mei, you never let me make a proper move. That's not the only thing I can do—if that gets rejected, I'm completely stuck."
"…"
"So, when I reach the point where I definitely can't escape anymore, I think, 'You're definitely going to retaliate, right?' The reason why I do it… …is more or less like that."
After saying that, Zomu-kun gazed up at the sky.
I clenched the hand resting on my knee tightly.
But—Oh, never mind.
"…I don't really know. But even so, doing something like this… …it's not like it's going to make things any better."
If the reason was to keep Zomu-kun by my side, then that choice was still the wrong one.
Besides, our relationship is actually getting worse like this.
It's obvious that the situation is going to get worse.
But… …Why, I wonder…?
"I don't really get it…"
"…Oh, I see. Well, maybe that's just Mei for you."
As if Zomu-kun already knew, he shrugged, then pulled both hands out of his pockets.
Before I could ask what Zomu-kun meant, he shouted loudly, as if to drive away his doubts.
"Oh! So it turns out I’ll never be the kind of tough guy who can date Mei!"
The voice echoed and reverberated throughout the school building.
A few students peeked out the windows with curious expressions, "What's going on?"
"Z-Zomu-kun…?"
"No matter what, I'm bound to keep making mistakes like this. If that's the case, I'll just be a burden to Mei, won't I?"
Hearing those words sent a chill down my spine.
The last thing I wanted to do flashed through my mind.
"That's why I'm going to put a stop to this. —I won't come near you again."
"…!"
Then, just as I'd expected.
Those firm words of farewell, spoken to me.
…You can't.
You can't do that, Zomu-kun.
"Isn't there… …Isn't there a better option—"
"No, there isn't."
Firmly, and.
After being clearly rejected, I growled softly.
"Why…?"
"Listen… …that's the only thing I can do. I can't take this anymore."
"Sticking around after being rejected isn’t exactly cool, either," Zomu-kun continued.
Zomu-kun, I understand how you feel.
Staying with me will only hurt Zomu-kun. It will only make Zomu-kun continue to feel sad.
But—please.
Let's think about it. Is there another way...?
There must be a better way.
Besides, it's the ideal choice that lets us all laugh together─.
"See you later. It's really been a lot of fun all this time, y'know."
Zomu-kun said those words in a light, hollow tone, then turned around and was about to leave.
"Zomu-ku—"
I don't even know what kind of words could touch Zomu-kun's heart—
"I'm just… ..well… ...Actually, I'm just an ordinary, weak person who just wants to be liked…"
When Zomu-kun turned around, I saw his face at the very moment those words were spoken.
A face trying to smile merely out of politeness, but one that only served to reveal even deeper sadness—
Zomu-kun's face looked disappointed.
◆
After Zomu-kun left.
I had absolutely no appetite, and I spent my lunch break daydreaming on a bench.
I couldn't even hear the voices of the students enjoying their lunch break; The only sound echoing around me was a rustling that felt like a vibration in the air.
Once again, just like always… ...right?
Ever since then, Zomu-kun's words have been spinning around in my head and just won't go away.
A while back, Ōmori-kun once told me that I was unusual.
At the time, I thought, "No way."
Even now, I still feel like there's nothing that sets me apart from everyone else.
But… …if I don't understand the meaning behind Zomu-kun's choice, does that mean there really is something that sets me apart from everyone else?
So, what exactly is that "something"?
Ability? Personality? Or a way of thinking?
Is it because of that "something" that sets me apart from everyone else that things have turned out this way…?
─Ting-tong-teng-tong.
The announcement bell rang out loudly, and finally, that train of thought came to a halt.
…It's time for me to go back to my classroom.
With great effort, I got up from my seat, then started walking, dragging my feet.
In the school building hallway, the laughter of students coming and going and the cheerful chatter drifting from the classrooms reached my ears, but right now it all felt distant, as if separated by a thick wall.
─Creak.
I opened the closed classroom door and stepped inside.
Inside the classroom, where the lunch break was almost over, most of my classmates were already there. However, Zomu-kun, who should have returned earlier, was nowhere to be seen.
…I wonder if Zomu-kun will come back to class?
But Zomu-kun's grades aren't exactly great to begin with. If he skips class, he definitely won't be able to keep up with the lessons.
I… …definitely won't be able to be there for Zomu-kun anymore….
As I endured the sharp pain in my chest, I looked around.
From the looks of it, both Mi-chan and Ōmori-kun weren't there either. Maybe they'd just stepped away from their seats for lunch, but right now, that made me feel really anxious.
"—It's really unbelievable, isn't it." "You should say something." "Yeah, you're right—you have every right to say that, Mattsun."
─From the crowd in the middle, I could hear snippets of convo.
When I looked, there was Mattsun in the middle of the crowd.
…Thank goodness, Mattsun made it to school safely.
I tried to lighten my mood a little, then walked over toward the crowd.
I had already explained the situation a little at RINE, but I hadn't actually apologized yet.
It's best to resolve things like this as soon as possible, so I'll set my personal feelings aside for a moment and offer a sincere apology.
"Mattsun, how are you—?"
"Mei. Why did you take the female lead role away from me?"
Out of the blue.
As I was bombarded with those angry words, my thoughts came to an abrupt halt.
"…, Huh?"
"Don't 'Huh' me…!"
As soon as Mattsun looked at me, her emotions suddenly boiled over, and she glared at me.
"This—this is really too much…! And you're the one who keeps telling me to work hard…!"
"Wait, wait a minute…"
Caught up in a completely unexpected situation, panic set in.
"D-Did you misunderstand? Why do you feel that way—"
"Then why, exactly? How come a stand-in showed up at just the right moment like that!?"
Can anyone help? Want to be a stand-in?
As I stood there speechless, my classmates around me started to speak up.
"Besides, Mei said right away that she wanted to do it as soon as possible," "It seems like Mei had been getting ready from the start," "Mei must have been planning this from the very beginning, right?"
"C-Come on, guys, calm down. Just calm down first!"
Without realizing it, my voice had gotten louder, so I quickly covered my mouth.
Wait… …I'm the one who needs to calm down.
I took a really deep breath to calm myself down, then started thinking clearly.
If you think about it, all my classmates around Mattsun seem to like Zomu-kun.
It's possible I explained something in a way that led to a misunderstanding. It seems like the interpretation got all mixed up.
I need to stay calm, explain things one by one, and clear up this misunderstanding.
"Um… …first of all, right? There's no way I intended to take the female lead role. I mean, if I wanted to be female lead, I would've signed up for it from the start, wouldn't I?"
"You must've changed your mind partway through, right?" "Besides, the most suspicious thing is that you already knew the female lead's lines by heart from the very beginning." "The decision to replace the actress was way too sudden, though."
"N-No—No, wait a minute, wait a minute."
Three sentences came out at once, and I was taken aback.
It seemed like none of them were calm. It felt like they'd already reached a conclusion before even discussing it.
Well, anyway, one by one, one by one….
"As for the dialogue—no, as the Director, I know it all by heart—not just the lead actress' lines, but everyone's. So, it's not like I'm bringing up stand-ins just because I want to be the female lead—"
"Wow… …that sounds a little cynical, doesn't it?" "Besides, why not just ask the cast first? 'Is there anyone who can take over the lead role?'" "Yeah, yeah, isn't that the right way to go about it?" "You don't have to just blurt out, 'I'm going to play the part!' right?"
"Eh, eh, that's…"
Wh-Where… …Where am I even supposed to start answering that?
Just as I was feeling that confused—.
"That's the point, isn't it? You don't trust us at all, do you?"
—Suddenly.
Those words, coming from right behind me, made my thoughts come to a halt again.
"K-Komaba-chan…?"
When I turned around, Komaba-chan looked at me with an expression that seemed bored.
"You never talk to anyone when you're confused, Kiyosato. You always just decide everything on your own."
"It was the same with the booth event. As for that contingency fund, who have you told about it?"
"…Um, well…"
That was indeed a lie I made up on the spot. Since it was a lie, of course I didn't tell anyone about it.
But if I had said that I was actually the one covering the costs, it would have just sounded like I was imposing my will. Besides, if I'd said something like that, Kamiizumi-chan—who had made the mistake—would have had nowhere to hide.
"…That's…"
"See? You can't answer it. That's the same as admitting it's true."
With a snort, Komaba-chan turned her face away.
Suddenly, as I glanced around, all eyes in the classroom were fixed on me.
In the dead silence of the classroom, the expressions on my classmates' faces as they stared at me didn't look friendly at all—not even if they were trying to be.
A queasy feeling slowly crept up my throat.
This… …this atmosphere.
It's not good.
"…So it's true after all, huh?" "Didn’t I tell you?" "I've always felt something was off…" "So, Mei really is underestimating us?" "Wow… …I can't believe it."
─Oh, this can't go on.
If this keeps up, if this kind of atmosphere continues.
Of course, everything would become unforgivable.
I sensed it instinctively, and then I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"Hey, from the very beginning! There was no way to predict that Mattsun would get sick. So, there's no way I could have intentionally arranged that substitution!"
"You took the supervision duty away from me—isn't that why?"
This time, I was suddenly attacked from the side.
"Takki…!"
"Wasn't that so you could control the assignments that day? So Matsubara would be deliberately given a difficult task?"
"Huh, what… …what are you talking about!?"
Hearing such a completely absurd statement, I was at a loss for words.
"There's no way I'd do something like that! What's going on, Takki…!?"
"You pretend to care about me… …but deep down, you think I'm useless or look down on me, don't you?"
Hearing those words spoken in a sarcastic tone, I felt a sharp pain in my chest.
Why…?
Why have all of you, all of a sudden, become like this—?
"So, is that why you always want to be the Leader?" "If not for that, there's no way you'd want to handle all those complicated things on your own." "That's really bad…" "You pretend to be a good girl, but you're actually evil, aren't you?" "It happens all the time—people who seem polite but are actually sneaky." "What do you take us for? We're not your pawns in a game, y'know."
"No… …it's not like that, guys, wait a minute…"
There was just too much information to process all at once—so much that my brain couldn't think straight.
There were so many things I needed to say that I didn’t even know where to start.
"I just… …want this Cultural Festival to be a success…"
"Huh? But you're the one who ruined it?" "You're the one who made that play your own personal project, and now you're saying that?" "Exactly. We're not here to make you stand out, y'know." "That 'best prize' didn't make us happy at all." "Besides, it wasn’t the result of our teamwork." "We should just return it, right? Let's just return it!" "Ahaha, that's never happened before!"
"Oh, eh…"
The world feels like it's warping.
"Why… …why, all of you─?"
Why is it like this?
Why do they always think the worst?
Why is it that, time and time again, with everything and everyone, I always end up on the side that can't make people laugh?
"I just want all of you to smile…"
That's all.
It's just that—over and over again.
Over and over again, I hope everyone can do it as much as possible.
That's all.
"What the heck? You're just saying that now?" "It's impossible to laugh, right, after being treated like this?" "There must be something weird about Mei." "So weird, really weird." "Impossible, totally impossible." "Wow, this is crazy." "Totally crazy." "It's so scary." "I don't want to get anywhere near Mei." "Impossible, impossible." "It's so hard." "Totally impossible." "Besides, it's annoying."
What am I going to do…?
What should I do, what should I do?
What should I do─!?
"─Hey! You guys, what are you doing!?"
─.
In front of me, a boy's back.
"Why is this happening…! Mei didn't do anything wrong! If you want to blame someone, just blame me!"
Shin─.
"By the way, are you guys serious about that!? Even though you've always relied on Mei all this time…"
─O-Oh.
Zomu-kun said he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.
But Zomu-kun already told me he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.
Why?
Why, Zomu-kun?
"Don't just stand there, hey! You guys are all so stupid!"
Why—?
At this worst of times.
You're actually protecting me.
"─How long are you guys going to keep pretending to be the main hero and heroine? Come on, face reality."
Someone muttered softly.
With those words.
─It's all over.
─.
─….
"Okay, let's start the lesson. Sit down, everyone!"
The atmosphere, which had felt endless just a moment ago, was instantly shattered by the Teacher's words, which rang out at the same time as the bell.
With unsteady steps, I made my way back to my seat.
At the classroom entrance, my eyes met Ōmori-kun's as he stood there with his arms crossed.
─Didn't I already tell you?
Those words, without me realizing it, just popped into my head.
◆
"─Yeah. That's right, one person canceled. I'd appreciate your help."
The classroom was empty after school let out.
I took my smartphone away from my ear and ended the call with the karaoke place that was going to be the venue for the After-Party.
It's true—my presence might not exactly make for a comfortable atmosphere. It's better if I take care of this right away, before any cancellation fees kick in.
As for managing the event on the big day, I'll ask the Vice President—Mi-chan—to handle it. I'll have to ask her about it later.
While making that kind of mechanical assessment, I stared out the window with a blank expression.
On the school field down below, which was starting to get dark, I could see students busily practicing for their club activities. Their shouts as they ran around the field could be heard faintly through the glass window.
For the first time… …I skipped my club activity.
Fortunately, this was after the tournament. Even though I wasn't there, no one would be bothered by it.
"—Reality, do you understand?"
Hearing those words spoken so casually, my chest ached, as if I'd been stabbed.
I looked up, and right in front of me—.
"…Ōmori-kun."
In a bored tone, as if Ōmori-kun were disappointed.
Just like earlier that afternoon, Ōmori-kun stood leaning against the classroom door.
"This is the true nature of the people who want to be laughed at by Kiyosato. All of them, said, just don't like seeing you as the only one who stands out at the Cultural Festival."
"…"
"In fact, all this time they've been showered with kindness by Kiyosato. As soon as that kindness is gone, they immediately turn their backs on you—those people."
"That's ridiculous," said Ōmori-kun sarcastically.
"Besides, they aren't even trying to achieve it on their own—instead, they're trying to bring down the person who already has it. That's easier, and it seems like insulting others actually makes them happy."
"…"
"What Kiyosato is really feeling, or just how much you've helped us all this time—things like that don't matter at all. They only care about whether they feel comfortable or not."
"…"
"Do you think there's any point in working so hard for people like that? Not at all, right?"
Ōmori-kun bit his lip tightly.
Ōmori-kun's words seemed to shake me to the core.
"Well, but… …Aren't you relieved now? They're the ones who said they wanted to break up."
Then, Ōmori-kun suddenly wiped the mocking expression from his face and continued.
"In my opinion, Mitaka—even though he's a fool—has been doing his best. But whether he can keep it up like that is still doubtful. Besides, he's the kind of boy who's always sucking up to everyone."
"…"
"But… …at least I am."
Then, with a serious expression on his face, Oomori-kun.
Zomu-kun said it too.
─Oh.
I covered my face with both hands.
I want to look away from everything, I thought.
...That's impossible.
That's right, it's impossible.
Besides, besides, if that's the case—.
"—That's impossible, y'know."
—Mi-chan, y'know.
Everyone except us.
We won't be able to laugh anymore.
"No matter how much… …no matter how much, everyone hates me."
─So.
I.
Even so.
"Even so, I want… …everyone to keep smiling."
After all, that dream certainly isn't wrong.
Besides, even if that dream turns out to be wrong—.
"I hope… …everyone keeps smiling…"
To all of you who were hurt by my dream, to those of you who couldn't accept me—.
I don't have the courage to look you in the face.
"…Oh, I see."
Ōmori-kun, turning his face away.
"In that case… …go ahead. I'm not crazy enough to want to hang out with someone who has a desire to destroy themselves."
Without looking at me, Ōmori-kun stood up.
"I'm not as extreme as those weirdos. …Because I can't be a weirdo."
"See you later," said Ōmori-kun.
With a voice that seemed to be holding back his emotions, Ōmori-kun simply left us with those words, then walked out of the classroom.
─After that.
We never laughed together again─.
It never happened again.
◆
After listening to the announcement about when school would end, I walked out of the classroom.
I walked alone down the hallway, which was growing darker as the lights were turned off.
There wasn't a single person left in the school. In fact, before I even realized it, the schoolyard had grown pitch-black, and the students who had been participating in after-school activities were nowhere to be seen.
─Anyway, I'm tired.
There really were a lot of things I had to think about.
But today, I'm going to stop thinking about it any further.
See you tomorrow. I'll get some sleep first, wake up, and then tackle things one by one.
After deciding that, just as I was walking out the school gate—.
"Wow? What a coincidence to run into you here, Kiyosato-san!"
And.
Along with the sweet scent of vanilla, that soft, gentle voice reached my ears.
"…Ririko-chan."
It turned out that Ririko-chan was standing there alone, as if leaning against the gatepost.
"You're late, aren't you? You skipped club activities—what have you been doing until this late?"
A little laugh.
With a soft laugh, Ririko-chan continued.
"Oh, I was just kidding. Actually, a little while ago, I heard Kiyosato-san and Asahi whispering in Class 3-A's classroom."
"…"
"It sounded like they were having a serious convo about saying goodbye, didn't it? I felt sorry for you guys, so I came to cheer you up."
Hearing those malicious words, my heart—which had been sad—became even more troubled.
…Actually, I don't really feel like chatting right now.
"…Sorry. Never mind, I'm going home now."
"Besides—? I heard you even got into a fight with Zomu-kun, too? Oh man, getting rejected after confessing his feelings to you in front of everyone—I really feel bad for him."
"In that case… …you should just go over there to Zomu-kun. I'm fine, though."
"Of course! I'll be there to support Zomu-kun. So, Kiyosato-san, don't worry, okay?"
Ririko-chan smiled, staring intently at me as if she wanted to see my reaction.
"...Ririko-chan."
I opened my mouth, speaking in a serious tone.
"Hmm? What's up?"
Ririko-chan, still looking cheerful, tilted her head.
I am.
"─Please. Please, make Zomu-kun… ...laugh from the heart, okay?"
As I said that, I bowed my head.
Ririko-chan fell silent, as if taken aback.
"…Hah—."
Then, Ririko-chan let out a long sigh.
Ririko-chan tossed her long hair back with an annoyed expression on her face─.
Then Ririko-chan tucked her hair behind her right ear.
"─Even at a time like this, you're still like that? You really are crazy, aren't you?"
Ririko-chan's face was filled with disgust.
For the first time, Ririko-chan showed her true colors and approached me with a defiant tone.
"Ugh, you're really getting on my nerves! Why do you act like such a prude? Are you even human?"
"Eh… …Eh?"
While I was still confused by Ririko-chan's sudden change in attitude, she hissed "Tsk!" with a tone full of hatred, then pushed me up against the gatepost.
Then, with a "Bashin" sound, Ririko-chan slapped the wall behind me with her hand, then brought her face close to mine.
"At least show a little bit of your frustration, will you? Why is it that I, the one who came to announce this victory, am the one who ends up feeling embarrassed?"
"Eh, what's going on? Why all of a sudden…?"
"Y'know, don't you? You guys—I set you up."
—Set us up?
Hearing the worrying tone in those words, I felt as if my heart were being gripped tightly.
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's exactly as I said, isn't it? Ever since that time at the pool a while back, I've managed to cleverly manipulate you guys."
Suddenly, I got goosebumps.
Ririko-chan managed to persuade us… …or so she says.
"I deliberately provoked Asahi earlier—it was all for that purpose. I figured that if I humiliated you in front of Asahi, he'd definitely get upset and step in, right?"
Huh…!?
"Huh, why─?"
"Why? It's not like I didn't know how Asahi felt from the very beginning."
─Y-You.
Then, Ririko-chan gave a sardonic smile.
"So. If Zomu-kun saw Asahi protecting you like that, Zomu-kun'd definitely panic, right? I mean, it's so obvious that Zomu-kun sees Asahi as a rival."
"…"
"But that incident in the locker room was really funny and had me laughing so hard. Because both Zomu-kun and Asahi said they'd be coming in a little while, so I deliberately struck up a convo with you—"
Oh….
"Then, while I was teasing you to see how you'd react, they both showed up at just the right moment, didn't they? Asahi, for example, the moment his eyes met mine, he barged right in without hesitation."
With a truly strange expression, Ririko-chan continued her explanation.
"On the contrary, kind-hearted Zomu-kun paused for a moment so as not to make things worse, he said. Just as he was feeling guilty about that, he actually saw both you and Asahi meeting in secret—as if that were the final blow—so Zomu-kun was forced to speed up the fight, is that right? Well, I certainly didn't expect Zomu-kun to confess to you so openly like that—"
"Turns out Zomu-kun is a dreamer and really cute, y'know," Ririko-chan continued.
"You knew from the start that you weren't going to accept Zomu-kun's confession, didn't you? I just wanted him to go through a really bitter experience so he'd come to his senses, so this worked out perfectly,"
"Okay, that's it," said Ririko-chan, spreading her arms wide in an exaggerated gesture.
I could only mutter in astonishment.
"Why… …Why, Ririko-chan, did you go so far as to—"
"You think this is a dirty trick, don't you?"
Ririko-chan snorted, "Hah," mockingly, as if it were ridiculous.
"Besides, I'm a petty, bad-tempered person. It fits me perfectly, doesn't it? A sneaky trick like this—"
"…"
"But no. Isn't that how it is for all of you?"
All of us… …are like that?
Ririko-chan said this firmly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
"Aren't there people in this world who don't have any bad traits? Nobody wants to talk to someone they hate, and everyone wants to be liked—even if it means sacrificing others."
Then—.
"That's not exactly 'normal.' It's different from you, the Angel who lives in a different world, isn't it?"
—Oh, eh.
That's what they call 'normal'…?
So, acting deliberately rude like that—is that what they call 'normal'…?
As I remained silent, Ririko-chan pursed her lips and glared at me with a look of hatred.
"Actually, around here, we're not going to get what we want just by spouting empty words."
Then, clenching her teeth tightly and raising the corners of her eyes sharply, Ririko-chan stared intently at me from close range.
Behind Ririko-chan's gaze, I caught a glimpse of overflowing anger.
"I changed my style to suit your taste, studied hard, worked out diligently, but you still wouldn't even glance at me, so I ended up dating Senpai just to make you jealous…! I've tried my absolute best, but don't you dare, you newcomer who just showed up out of nowhere, take it all without lifting a finger!!"
Oh….
Could it be?
The two of them have known each other since elementary school.
Their relationship has lasted much longer than Zomu-kun's relationship with me.
So—.
I naturally realized that possibility, and without thinking, I blurted it out.
"Ririko-chan… …actually, you've liked Zomu-kun for a long time, haven't you…?"
"─"
Ririko-chan didn't answer.
Instead, Ririko-chan let out a long sigh, "Hah…," as if to calm herself, then tucked a strand of hair that had slipped behind her ear back into place with her finger.
"Oh, I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel weird. I thought you'd show a little bit of your human side, but it turns out you stayed the goody-two-shoes right up until the end—you really let me down."
"…Ririko-chan."
"Everything I just said was a joke, so just forget about it, okay? Well, but now it's too late—no matter what you say, the situation isn't going to change, though—."
"See you later," Ririko-chan said, waving her hand as she turned away.
"Oh, right. Since we're on the subject, let me tell you one last thing, okay?"
Then, just as she was about to leave, Ririko-chan stopped as if she'd just remembered something.
Then, just as Ririko-chan flashed a sardonic smile—.
"Do you have any idea why I understand your situation so well—?"
◆
—The next day, after school.
"—The Event After-Party will be at the usual place, right? I've already reserved it under my name."
I met up with Mi-chan, and we arrived at a small park located in a corner of the shrine near the school.
This quiet spot is set back a bit from the main road; We sometimes go there to grab a snack together or just chat casually.
Actually, all we needed to discuss was the handoff of duties, so we could have talked about it at school. However, since it was almost time for school to let out, we decided to leave the school grounds as a precaution.
In the park, which was already growing dark as the sun set, I continued my explanation.
"So, the venue for the After-Party will be determined based on the number of participants, right?"
"…"
"If you want to keep singing karaoke, that's fine. If you want to grab a bite to eat or have some tea, I've already made a list of a few places around here. I'll send it to you later, okay?"
"…"
Mi-chan, sitting on the bench next to me, had been silent this whole time.
This spot was obscured by dense trees, so the light from the streetlamps and buildings didn't reach here. The light from the single lamp in the center flickered, illuminating Mi-chan's face.
Mi-chan's expression was hidden behind her bangs, so I couldn't see it clearly.
But—I could tell that Mi-chan was biting her lip.
"…Mi-chan, are you okay? Are you feeling sick?"
"…"
Ever since we met, Mi-chan has been like this.
Mi-chan seemed fine this afternoon, so maybe something happened while she was on duty as a member of the Library Committee.
It's possible there's another problem, isn't it….
I started to worry and asked Mi-chan.
"Mi-chan, if there's anything—"
"Why does Mei seem like nothing's wrong?"
─Suddenly, my words were cut off like that.
I swallowed hard and fell silent.
"You heard it from Ririko, didn't you? —That I've been betraying you all this time."
Mi-chan lifted her face and stared at me intently.
Those… …beautiful, jet-black eyes.
Mi-chan seems more pensive and serious than usual.
Mi-chan looks like she's hiding a secret.
"…What do you mean?"
"Don't pretend you don't know. I heard it straight from the person themselves."
─!
Ririko-chan, why…!?
"'I'll pretend I didn't hear that,' said Ririko. 'If you don't consider what you just said a joke, then I can't consider our earlier conversation a joke either,' she said, even going so far as to make a threat—something she rarely does."
"…"
"But there's no way that girl would do what Mei wants, right? You knew from the start that not even Ririko could be hurt by you."
"Mi-chan…"
"Why?"
I muttered under my breath, then clenched both my fists tightly.
─According to what I heard yesterday.
It turns out that, behind my back, both Mi-chan and Ririko-chan had secretly been working together.
Last year, when they were still in the same class, it seemed like they didn't interact very often, but after we entered our current class and our group of four formed, it seemed like Ririko-chan was the one who initiated contact.
Ririko-chan, who wanted to know about my activities and Zomu-kun's, took advantage of Mi-chan's desire to strengthen her relationship with Ōmori-kun and suggested that Mi-chan provide information in exchange for the behind-the-scenes support Ririko-chan would offer.
So Mi-chan agreed, and since then they've been in touch from time to time—that's how it went.
That is, on that day during summer vacation.
It turned out that the reason Ririko-chan suddenly showed up at Summer Park was because Mi-chan had told Ririko-chan about the plan.
"—That's what Ririko said. 'If this keeps up, Ōmori-kun is going to get bored with you,' she said."
Mi-chan began to speak little by little, as if she were confessing her sins.
"I argued with Ririko, saying, 'That's impossible.' Because I felt that Ōmori-kun really paid attention to me, and that he accepted me just the way I am,"
I lowered my head, then clenched both my fists tightly.
"But… …it turned out Ririko actually said this: 'Aren't there more interesting people around you?'"
"…!"
That is to say—.
Mi-chan narrowed her eyes with a sad expression, then muttered in a voice that sounded as if she were forcing it out.
"I—from the very beginning—have been watching it. How Ōmori-kun has become more and more interested in Mei."
"…!"
"The more time passes, the clearer it becomes to me that Ōmori-kun is becoming more and more interested in Mei. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, my feelings are actually drifting further and further away from him."
"That—it hurt so much… …and I was completely panicked. But at the same time, I also felt like it was only natural. After all, it wasn't Mei. Between you and me, no matter what, there's no way I could ever beat you."
Tightly.
Mi-chan's skirt was gripped and squeezed tightly.
"At that moment—Ririko suggested, 'There's a way to stop this from going any further.'"
"…Oh…"
"Ririko said that if I followed her orders, Ōmori-kun would definitely stay away from Mei. Ririko could get Mitaka-kun, and I could get Ōmori-kun,"
─Then.
Mi-chan looked at me, and her voice suddenly trailed off.
"I… …I decided to go along with Ririko's worst plan."
Yeah─.
Mi-chan firmly stood by the choice she had made.
"…Mi-chan…"
"Even if it hurts Mitaka-kun, hurts Mei, or even hurts Ōmori-kun—in the end, I've made the worst possible choice, one that will only make me laugh."
Then, Mi-chan said.
"Because… …because."
Mi-chan frowned, turning her face this way and that.
"That's all…!"
A single tear rolled down her cheek.
"It's just a matter of love…! I don't want to lose to Mei…!"
─It was sad, but Mi-chan remained resolute.
With a gaze filled with burning romantic passion, Mi-chan stabbed her enemy right through.
…Oh.
Really—really, Mi-chan has such strong determination, doesn't she….
Mi-chan sniffed softly, then opened her mouth again.
"But… …I never expected this to become such a big problem… …especially since Mei isn't at fault at all. I'm the only one to blame—."
Then, Mi-chan slowly stood up.
"I know—apologizing now is pointless. So—"
With Mi-chan's back to me.
"That worst kind of traitor—will disappear, won't they?"
Mi-chan is.
Mi-chan, too.
Goes away, Mi-chan goes away.
"Wait─."
Without realizing it, I reached out my hand.
But─.
That hand—by a hair's breadth—couldn't quite reach Mi-chan.
"Thanks for staying my friend all this time. ─Goodbye."
I've already─.
Even with my bestie, I can no longer laugh together.
─.
─….
…No, you can't.
No, you can't, no, you can't.
"─Mi-chan!"
"Huh…?"
I absolutely won't accept something like that─!
I jumped up and ran.
From behind, I hugged Mi-chan tightly.
Then─.
"Everything─ Everything, I forgive you!"
─That's right.
No matter how big Mi-chan's mistake is.
No matter how unforgivable it is. No matter how much an apology alone isn't enough.
Because we're besties─.
Of course I'll forgive anything.
"I'm sorry… …I'm really sorry! It's my fault…!"
"…"
"I should have explained myself more clearly! Instead of just thinking about myself, we should have had a more serious discussion!"
"…"
"So, don't blame yourself…! Mi-chan didn't do anything strange at all. Besides, for the sake of love, you tried your hardest to hold on to your feelings!"
"…"
"Mi-chan, you're not a bad person at all! So, please, don't put yourself down, and don't lose that strength of yours. Be proud—hold your head high!"
"…"
"Well… …Let's be together again, okay? Let's try our best together?"
I turned to face Mi-chan, then clasped her hand tightly.
─At the very least.
At least if Mi-chan's willing to stay with me.
Even in this worst-case scenario—which is actually even worse than that.
"I—I'll do my absolute best, pushing beyond my limits, to turn this situation around. I'll definitely make that dream come true—a school life where we can all keep laughing together—."
"Enough, zip it!!"
Poshin─.
A dry voice echoed.
"─…Huh?"
First, take it slow.
A sensation of heat spread across the palms of my hands.
Then, I realized that the hand I was supposed to be holding had been pushed away─.
"Why… …is that…?"
─By my bestie.
I realized I'd been rejected.
"Oh… …I can't take it anymore! I can't stand it anymore!"
Mi-chan covered her ears with both hands, then screamed at the top of her lungs.
"M-Mi-cha─"
"Don't─show me things like those ideals again, okay!"
─….
"I'm not Mei! There's no way I can keep striving to achieve ideals like yours, right!"
Firmly, with rage.
When I was met with a gaze I'd never seen before, my body trembled in shock.
"Mei, Mei, you're always thinking about your ideals! Not just for yourself, but also for the people around you—you're always, always demanding the ideal!"
"Oh… …Oh…"
"Only Mei can do something like that! Always right, never losing heart no matter what injustice Mei faces, and never giving up no matter what happens—just focused on your ideals!"
"Mei is… …It's just Mei who's so unusual, y'know! Always being forced to see that ideal image, always being forced to accept that ideal image—and with people like that, how could an ordinary person possibly stand it, y'know─!!"
As Mi-chan shouted.
My bestie turned her back on my ideal image and ran away.
From the pitch-black park, toward the city.
But, as if to drive away the darkness, I ran toward the light.
…Oh, I see.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm, all alone.
There's no one in the park.
Mi-chan—.
My bestie who's always been by my side, closer to me than anyone else.
Just that one sentence.
And I understood everything.
─The reason why I've kept all of you from laughing.
The reason why I'm not like everyone else.
The most joyful ideal reality, where we can all laugh together─.
I will keep fighting with all my might to make that dream a reality.
Never compromise, and never give up.
No matter what, I will always stay true to myself.
With perseverance, focusing only on how to make my ideals come true, and keep running.
I'm just choosing my own ideals.
That's who I am—I can only choose my ideals.
─I've made it so that no one can smile anymore.
"Ahaha..."
So, what that means is─.
"What that means is, just because I'm involved, no one can laugh anymore, right…–"
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
RP: Angga Kun
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