Chapter 132Something I Can't Understand
"..."
"..."
As the last hour to leave school approached, I was greeted with puzzled looks, not only from Natsukawa but also from everyone in the classroom. Of course, needless to say, there was no way we could complete this assignment with all the letters handwritten. To prevent leakage from outsiders, they were forbidden to take this assignment home, and the remaining assignments were collected by type and sorted again the next day.
"...Are they always like this?"
"Eh...?"
"I'm talking about Sasaki, okay? And the second-year senpai-s over there in the corner next to you."
"Um..."
When I asked Natsukawa after walking out into the corridor, she shook her head, though it was as if she was having trouble answering my question. Her answer was very different from what I expected, and I couldn't help but turn my whole body towards Natsukawa. When I saw her face, she looked like she didn't know how to put it into words.
"Eh? Aren't they like that?"
"They're the senpai-s who joined the same Soccer Club as Sasaki-kun and they served as managers there... ...At first, they taught me many things through Sasaki-kun."
"...Then?"
...They were both good senpai-s if she took them at face value. However, it is possible that Natsukawa only thinks of them like that because she is kind. It was also possible that the senpai-s were just after the handsome Sasaki and they didn't care about Natsukawa. But maybe that's just a narrow-minded way of looking at things.
"Maybe, he's tired of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee. He has often complained about it several times that time..."
"..."
I couldn't ask which part. A while ago, when I walked into this classroom for the first time, I noticed something strange. The workload of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee was too much, and their inefficient way of working. If I were forced to work like that forever, I would probably complain, "We're not kids anymore!". No, wait, we were junior high school students not too long ago. But still, it's a poor method of doing things.
"...Is Sasaki like that too?"
"O-Of course not! He just couldn't resist... ...Inoue-senpai is the girlfriend of the Soccer Club Captain... ...and Sasaki-kun was also told by his senpai-s, "Let's get out of here and go to our club activities", like that..."
"..."
Oh no. I almost clicked my tongue, I looked up a bit and swallowed.
I understand. I can understand it. The reason why the second-year senpai-s were suspicious of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee, and the reason why Sasaki was wavering between her feelings for Natsukawa and the pressure from his senpai-s. I don't know why I can't understand this... ...My part-time work experience will probably be very useful in various ways and in an unnecessary way... ...Maybe I would have been happier if I hadn't known that part.
I distracted myself by moving my body.
There were some things I couldn't accept inside me. But I didn't know what it was. Was it perhaps because I had been bullied by the Student Council or because I had seen what kind of situation the Cultural Festival Executive Committee was in? Come to think of it, I guess it was meant to be, but I felt a strange sense of unease. There was something more to it than that.
"W-Wait a minute...!"
She gripped my sleeve. I forgot that I was walking faster to hide the displeasure on my face. I almost left Natsukawa behind. I was so surprised at how impossible it was. I couldn't believe that I had unintentionally forgotten Natsukawa...
"Wait — Oh..."
When I turned around, Natsukawa's face was closer than I thought. She was so cute that she had once made me fall in love. It was so obvious that I couldn't help but involuntarily fall silent. Oh, she's so cute. I was well aware that "That's why I used to like this girl.", and the position that "I can't help but have high expectations" made her do this. This was an extremely beautiful scene for me. Looking back, it was just a scenery.
—Oh.
I don't understand why I'm distorting this amazingly beautiful scene.
"—I-I need to go shopping now..."
Wow, Natsukawa rushed to leave me. It felt like she was riding a bullet train through a snow-covered place illuminated by the setting sun. That's very unfortunate. For some reason, I felt like I had become something other than the existence of my idol that I supported.
Is this called love? The desire to see her and the loneliness of not seeing her came over me. I've experienced this many times since I was in the second year of middle school. However, what I'm feeling right now is a slightly different kind of loneliness than others. It's like the feeling you used to get when I came home from the amusement park when I was a kid. Do I think Natsukawa is like USJ?* (TL Note: Un*versal Studios Japan)
Maybe this isn't love anymore. Even so, it seems like my arrogance of wanting to always be around her, even if it's just for a short while, doesn't seem to have changed at all.
I feel somewhat resentful towards myself.
♦
"Where are Big Sis, Mom?"
"I don't know. Is she not in her room?"
After I took a shower, Big Sis, who usually sat on the sofa in the living room and lazed around, wasn't there today. I was sitting there happily, playing with my smartphone while relaxing, but for some reason, I felt a bit nervous. After all, I'd just finished showering, knowing that I'd probably be playing games in my room while drinking iced café au lait.
I walked up the stairs while listening to the sound of ice hitting my glass. I thought Big Sis was tired, but I didn't hear anything from upstairs. Usually, I could hear her talking on the phone with someone I didn't know, probably a girlfriend. There was no doubt that she was talking to her friend happily. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's the Vice President of the Student Council. Besides, I felt sorry for her for having to deal with all these problems amid her preparations for her college entrance exams. As expected, I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I joined the Student Council.
But Big Sis is Big Sis, and I am me. That's how we kept our distance. If I tried to be nicer to myself, I'd probably hear people say "That's disgusting" to me. In that case, the best I can do is ignore Big Sis' situation like I usually do, then play games and relax.
...Eh? Did I leave the lights on in my room?
"Welcome back."
"Oh... ...Ouch!!?"
Ouch, it hurts!!!?
I slammed my elbow into the doorknob with all my might. I desperately defended my glass with one hand, but it was indeed my fault. I immediately moaned in pain and cried on the spot. I looked at Big Sis, who startled me and my hand hurt so much.
"Scary!! What do you mean you're sitting on a bed in a boy's room like it's something normal, Big Sis!? You're scaring me!"
"You're so annoying, what are you afraid of?"
I should have been the only one to enter this room. For some reason, my room lights were on, and it was only natural that I was very frightened, when I found someone sitting, without moving an inch, in the middle of this room, on my bed. I didn't even realize it for a second. Seriously, Big Sis' "Welcome back" wasn't meant to welcome me back.
"Eh? Eh? Seriously, what the hell do you want, Big Sis? Did you enter the wrong room?"
"Of course not."
D*mn you! Why did you take over a boy's bed and act so bossy? Isn't it unnatural to sit on a bed like this? You sat on my bed like a pillow.
"Eh, it's about the Cultural Festival... ...and—"
"Oh, you wanted to talk about the Cultural Festival Executive Committee."
"..."
If that's the case, I can understand why Big Sis came to my room. No, it doesn't make sense that she came in here without permission or that she occupied my bed. Why is she acting as if she has more rights over my room than I do? C-Could it be that... ...this wasn't my room in the first place...?
"I see. I found out something."
"...Huh? Are you listening?"
"No, I'm not interested in that, though."
I put my glass on the side table and sat down on my bed. I still felt very uncomfortable in this cozy room that I had created. This was my personal space with the ultimate privacy. Of course, I felt very distressed by the presence of the outside world. Unexpectedly, it was in my cage.
Regarding the issue of the members of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee, there is a strong feeling that they want to take over and break away (from the Student Council) and do whatever they want. But in my opinion, we have another problem. We can't let the Cultural Festival Executive Committee take over.
"So — Oh."
I was about to ask her if she knew anything, but my vision began to tremble. I didn't know what had happened, but I knew that if I had been holding the glass, I would have spilled it.
"—Huh...?"
Huh?
I was sitting on my bed until this moment. If my vision suddenly shook in such a state, I assumed that I had fallen onto the bed. I knew that, so I wasn't too surprised.
If it weren't for Big Sis' face looking right at me.
"...Eh? What? Huh? Eh? What's going on?"
What's happened!?
I was surprised to see a lady who looked like a foreign female lecturer posing like "OMG!" in my head. I've never seen this person before. Is this my second personality? Or was this me in a previous life? I was so nervous that I created strange voices.
"...~~!"
Big Sis, the culprit holding my shoulders, pushed me back. As a result, I was staring at Big Sis with my head in her lap, and she was making a horrible face, but should I make fun of her? I was bearing so much shame. What should I do if I have to bear it?
"...What's wrong with this situation?"
"Sh-Shut up."
I was very surprised and astonished at how impossible it was, but after I circled once or twice, I calmed down. Big Sis must have let go of something too, or else she'd gotten hit in a fight with an excited look on her face, saying, "That's good, isn't it...!?", and making a motion as if she was wiping the sweat off his chin. Don't ever let that sweat drip on me. Who did you fight with?
Hey! C'mon!!!
Is it you?
Author's Note: Are you OK?
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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