Chapter 74The Goddess Finds Out
I feel uncomfortable.
Wataru started talking to a pretty brunette girl. It seemed that her name was Aizawa-san. He and Kei looked a bit tense. Seeing the three of them like that, I felt that something was going to change and I became uneasy. However, for some reason, after a while, Kei and Aizawa-san started talking to each other in a friendly manner. Something must have happened, but I didn't know it at the time.
My daily life felt as if something was missing. As our seats changed, Wataru and Kei sat in front and behind, while I was far away from them, and they started talking to each other in a friendly manner. It was as if something bad inside me had been "accelerated".
—I was there too...
I tried to go over and talk to them, but I couldn't move my legs.
What would I say to them again? Not knowing how I could interrupt them, I continued to stare at their backs.
My classmates came to my house. I was indeed very happy that my friends liked Airi, but I was bothered by the fact that Wataru seemed to be acting indifferent to me. Even though he's very obsessed with me... I felt an inconclusive feeling growing inside me.
In between all this, Sasaki-kun, my male classmate, was carrying Airi. Airi did seem to be enjoying herself, but as I saw how she was getting closer to Sasaki-kun, I felt discomfort that I couldn't describe, and in the end, I pulled her away from Sasaki-kun casually.
A strange feeling began to come over me. An inconclusive feeling... ...I immediately understand what it was, but right now I didn't understand my uneasiness and lost the courage to accept that kind of feeling. Why, why the heck...? ...This contradiction that arises within me is frustrating me.
I don't like the fact that the first boy that Airi misses is Sasaki-kun.
Kei scolded me for hiding it from her. My true intentions were easy to guess, and Kei revealed them to Wataru. I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable that all I could do was run away.
I dragged Wataru to my house, and he said things he couldn't understand, I hope that he would be able to override 'Sasaki-kun'. When I think about it calmly, I think I've done something outrageous. I don't understand why I was expecting Wataru's arrival when I had made it a rule not to let him meet Airi. But if I hadn't done that, I would have been bothered anyway.
Wataru wasn't good at carrying Airi. That's why I taught him and told him to hold Airi tightly. Airi had fun and moved her body more than usual and felt pampered by Wataru. Wataru was very funny and I couldn't help but laugh as he looked at me in the same way as Airi. I did feel a bit sorry for him, but I was happy that Airi stayed with him until they were exhausted.
My discomfort disappeared.
One day, Wataru fainted. My mind went blank and I couldn't think of anything. I hoped it wasn't something serious. I was relieved when I heard from Shindou-sensei, the infirmary doctor, that it was just a cold. It was sad to see Kei, who was so cheerful, turn pale and gloomy when she saw Wataru. I realized for the first time that Wataru's presence had become increasingly important to both of us.
During my first summer vacation as a high school student, I spent more time at home.
The Cultural Festival Executive Committee's activities were only two days a week, and I was happy to be able to play with Airi as much as possible. On the messaging app on my smartphone, the class chat group was abuzz until midnight. Wataru had joined the chat as well, and the way he put tsukkomi in the comments of the other boys' messages was so funny that I couldn't help but laugh. When I showed my expression to Airi, she tilted her head and I laughed again because it was so funny.
For the next ten days. The group messages started to die down, and we spent our evenings just reporting on what we had done. I felt envious when I saw reports about karaoke, bowling, and going to restaurants like that.
Kei seemed to be busy with her club activities. I checked this app every day, but Wataru didn't appear in the group at all. Meanwhile, I played with Airi and went to school twice a week for the Cultural Festival Executive Committee. But I couldn't meet the two of them there... ...and I started to have feelings in my heart that I couldn't imagine when I was in middle school.
"...I feel lonely."
It's true that somewhere deep down, I know that I'm a shy person who shrinks in the absence of a smart girl like Kei. Wataru, the one who was supposed to be persistent, annoying, and pathetic, had a completely different feeling of disgust for him.
How selfish and self-centered I was, how childish I was. At the same time with my feelings of self-loathing, I was surprised as a big sis that I felt bored with my daily life with Airi.
I felt guilty about Airi. Shame for not being able to be cheerful like Kei. Conflicting feelings towards Wataru. The inside of my heart, which should be full of moisture, suddenly and unexpectedly became thirsty for their presence...
I couldn't cry either.
♦
On August 6th. After being informed by the Cultural Festival Executive Committee, Sasaki-kun and I went to the next meeting room. It was a classroom that had been opened for the School Visit Trial event. Inside, I was surprised to see that among them was a group of senpai-s that I had never met in the Cultural Festival Executive Committee — I was surprised by their appearance.
"It seems... ...amazing."
"Y-Yeah..."
They were neatly dressed — In other words, it was a perfect promotion for the "ideal Kōetsu High School student". The reason why there were no members in Student Council uniforms among them was because they were busy.
"Putting Sasaki-kun aside... ...I wonder if I belong here?"
"No, no, quite the opposite. I wonder why I'm here, let alone next to Natsukawa."
The atmosphere there was very cool, to the point that I felt as if I was praising myself, for being here. I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed sitting on that kind of seat in the classroom, and I couldn't help but stare at Sasaki-kun and smile shyly at each other.
Looking from the back of the Conference Room, there was a room in front on the left that looked empty. As if ignoring the long table area, wooden benches were placed haphazardly around it. Just as I was wondering why it was only there, new people entered the Conference Room.
"It reminds me, the School Visit Trial Meeting was led by the Discipline Committee, and was attended by the Cultural Festival Executive Committee and the Student Council as well."
"Oh... ...that's right."
People with "Disciplinary Committee" armbands on one of their arms sat on the benches that were already there, randomly placed and cramped-looking. One by one, their numbers grew, until finally they were scattered behind my bench. The sheer number of people made me realize that this event was quite large.
As I watched the members of the Disciplinary Committee enter, after that someone entered the Conference Room. If Kei was here, she would have been excited. Shinomiya Rin, the President of the Disciplinary Committee — as her name suggests, she had a dignified demeanor, and with a face full of confidence, she stood in front of the teacher's desk.
"—Eh...?"
My eyes found a boy who was familiar to me.
A boy who quietly passed by the President of the Disciplinary Committee, Shinomiya-senpai, like a child. He looked around timidly, then sneaked towards where the members of the Disciplinary Committee were sitting.
A moment later, our eyes met.
Wataru was probably surprised too, and as he looked at me with his eyes wide open, he raised his hand in a small wave and moved his mouth as if to say "Hey.". His figure seemed small, to the point that I couldn't help but be shocked.
──Wataru is also here.
The inside of my foggy head seemed to open up. The moment I thought that Wataru would participate in this event, I felt as if my heart was heavy as if it was filled with lead, and started to feel lighter. My head started spinning and I wondered. Why is Wataru sitting on the same seats as the members of the Disciplinary Committee...?
"Are we all here already? Then, let's start the initial meeting."
Wow.
She's so cool. I can only admire her in my heart. I want to be a girl like her. I'm not Kei, but there's a part of me that inadvertently has a crush on that low voice that makes my heart flutter even though we're both girls. Shinomiya-senpai bravely led the meeting and explained the outline of the School Visit Trial. I was so mesmerized that I couldn't concentrate. Only now did I understand Kei's feelings so well that it hurt.
Being a guide for middle school students was an important role, as it also served as our high school guide. As first-year students, we were assigned to guide the middle school students together, explaining the uses and facilities of each place at key points. We knew more from the materials given to us than from them directly.
"Eh, is there this kind of facility in the Multipurpose Hall?"
"I don't know either..."
We were interested in the information we didn't already know about our high school. They said that we should read this in about fifteen minutes and then use our speaking style to attract the attention of the middle school students as we guide them. This was probably easier than memorizing the words from the script word for word and speaking.
I looked at Wataru while recalling the contents of my job description. When I looked at Wataru, whom I hadn't seen in a long time, he looked a bit brownish and the color of his hair had partially faded. I was rather happy to see his hair back to brown again. I guess, it's because I'm used to seeing him like this.
"Hey, hey, have you noticed Sajou?"
"Yeah..."
"Eh?"
I thought Sasaki-kun was asking me something. I was so worried about Wataru that I answered him unconsciously. When I turned my attention to Sasaki-kun again, he was staring at the documents with his mouth tied in a straight line. I guess it wasn't a conversation that was going to continue, and I was also staring at the documents in the same way.
After that, even though the meeting was over, those of us in charge of guiding the School Visit Trial had to remain in the Conference Room to solidify the content. The Disciplinary Committee members, including Shinomiya-senpai, flocked to leave the classroom, and Wataru followed behind them. As if to reply to Wataru's earlier greeting, I tried to say something with a movement of my mouth, but Wataru didn't look at me again.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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