[Warning 15+]
Backstage 1Uenohara Ayano, Who Is Not an "Apprentice"
"Here you go, some cold brewed iced coffee."
"Thank you so much, Master."
The ice made a "Clink" sound as the glass pitcher holding the drink was set down on the table.
The summer afternoon sunlight streaming through the window illuminated the glass, turning it red. The light, reflecting in every direction and shimmering, dazzled my eyes, causing me to squint without realizing it.
This happened shortly after Summer Vacation began.
I was sitting alone in the sofa area of "Meeting Spot D" — DRAGON CAFE.
This isn't the first time I've come here without Kōhei. I really like the simple, modern interior, the atmosphere that's dotted here and there with cheerful touches, and the feeling of being enveloped by the aroma of coffee, so I often stop by here.
"Just a moment for the dessert, okay? We ran out of stock today, so we're making a fresh batch right now."
"Oh, really? Well, that's fine—"
"It's fine, it's fine. In fact, Ayano-chan alone can generate a day's worth of sales, so I'm really happy."
"…That's exaggerating, isn't it?"
The Café Owner shrugged with a smile, then began clearing the table next to him.
At times like this, after tea time—past 3 p.m.—the place is quiet, and I'm the only customer here. At times like that, I'm usually allowed to sit on the big sofa next to the counter.
Sinking into the soft sofa, I held the drink pitcher with both hands. Feeling the coolness on my palms, I brought the straw sticking out of the pitcher's lid to my mouth.
For some reason… …it feels like it's been about a week since I was last here. Back when I used to come often, I'd stop by five times a week, so it really feels like it's been a very long time.
Of course, that number includes meetings. Or rather, most of it consists of meetings.
So….
Now that there aren't any meetings anymore, it's only natural that I don’t come around as often.
"─So. You don't seem like your usual self—what's going on?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, that coffee doesn't have any syrup in it, right?"
"Hmm..."
…Oh, I see.
No wonder it tasted a little bitter.
Just as I was opening the lid to add more syrup, the Café Owner brought a bar stool from behind the counter and slammed it down across from me.
"Come on, now. If there's something you want to talk about, I'm ready to listen, you know? Besides, I'm free right now."
"Huh?"
Hearing those unexpected words out of the blue, I was taken aback.
This rarely happens. Usually, he just says, "Okay, go ahead and enjoy your time," then immediately disappears into the back.
Eh—I mean.
"…Do I look like the kind of person who wants to talk?"
"It's just that you seem so carefree today. Usually you always bring your homework or books with you, don't you?"
"…"
"Ayano-chan is the type of person who always has a clear purpose before coming here. So, it's kind of strange to see you just show up like this without bringing anything,"
Then, adding, "Besides," the Café Owner smiled broadly, revealing his white teeth.
"When you work in a field like this, I can really sense the customers’ moods like that."
"Besides, most people come here just to vent," he said with a wry smile.
…Is that really true?
Maybe I just want to talk to someone.
"Something must have happened to Kōhei, right? You two suddenly stopped coming together."
Hearing those words out of the blue, I felt as if my chest were being squeezed.
…Is something wrong?
After setting the drink bottle on the table, I slowly opened my mouth.
"So… …Master, you already know what Kōhei's up to, right?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah, more or less? So, the plan is for Kōhei to become a crazy stalker, pull strings behind the scenes, and really become the main character in the story, right?"
"Well… …something like that, I guess!"
Hearing it again from someone else, it felt like we were doing something pretty dangerous. Even so, my feelings had already completely numbed.
"Kōhei often consults with me, too, so I think I know what's going on. Ayano-chan is one of Kōhei's supporters, right?"
"…Yeah, that used to be the case."
"Used to be, huh."
"…"
─Then, little by little.
In a way of speaking that was unlike my usual self—seeming unfocused—I described the current situation.
◆
"─Hmm, I see. So Kōhei suddenly said he was going to stop 'The Plan'—which seemed to be his whole life—and even though you asked him why, he wouldn't tell you anything, so you don't know what to do?!”
Sipping on his self-brewed espresso, the Café Owner summed it up that way.
"You said Kouhei kept insisting that he 'Couldn't talk' about it at RINE. But didn't it ever occur to you to ask Kōhei directly?"
"That was the plan at first. But I couldn't find Kōhei anywhere."
It seemed like Kōhei did come to school, but whether I went to his classroom during break or to some of the "Secret Meeting Spots," he wasn’t there. I even tried waiting by the entrance and exit when school let out, but he still didn't show up.
Kōhei's shoes were in his locker, so I wondered why he hadn't shown up… …but when I thought about it, that's just his style. It wouldn't be strange at all for him to have a spare pair of shoes ready and to sneak in and out through some kind of emergency escape route.
Before I knew it, Summer Vacation had arrived, and Kōhei managed to slip away before I could track him down.
"Maybe this is due to the unexpected events surrounding the Student Council President Election that just took place. Kōhei's Plans have failed one after another, so…"
"Oh, I see… …But surely there must be some explanation, right? After all, you've been working together all this time."
"Yeah, that's true, but…"
"?"
Suddenly I fell silent, and the Cafe Owner tilted his head.
…That's true, I guess, but.
I lowered my gaze to the table, then said softly, as if muttering to myself.
"Eh, come to think of it… …actually, maybe it's none of my business to comment, right? That's what I was thinking."
"…Huh? Why?"
The Café Owner furrowed his brow as he asked me.
"After all, I'm just an ally—someone who supports Kōhei. So, I realize that if he says he wants to quit, I don't have the right to stop him, do I?"
"Hm, the right…?"
"First of all, the position of 'Ally' doesn't really need to exist. It's just a role that was created out of necessity due to circumstances, and it's basically unnecessary."
"Necessary…?"
"Yeah… …Besides, there's no rule saying it has to be me. So, if Kōhei thinks, 'I don't need your help anymore'… …Well, I guess it can't be helped, then, right?"
"Wait a minute. Rights or needs—is that really what this is about?"
The Café Owner looked confused.
…I guess I need to explain it more systematically so he'll understand.
I held the beverage pitcher with both hands, and after a moment, began to speak, bit by bit.
"The thing is—there's nothing I can do all by myself."
"…Hmm."
"Ever since I was a kid, I've tried all sorts of things. But even though I could do them pretty well, there wasn't a single one that made me the best."
That's what people call 'Too multitasking but not great at any one thing,' I continued.
"In middle school, I also joined the Track and Field Club, but I still couldn't beat the top athletes. But that doesn't mean I felt terribly disappointed or felt like I had to try my absolute hardest until I dropped… …The point is, I'm just not cut out for mastering one thing in depth. Maybe that's just my nature or my personality."
"…Ayano-chan, don't you like that about yourself?"
"No, I mean… …I guess that's just how it is."
Besides, that's the reality, and that's who I am.
There's no point in hoping for something that doesn't exist.
"It's the same with friendships—I don't have any close friends. Since I can get along with anyone, I've never had trouble making friends in class or finding people to hang out with… …but if we drift apart because we switch classes, we just stop keeping in touch."
The melting ice made a "Clank" sound.
"But that's only natural. After all, it doesn't have to be me who accompanies Kōhei."
That's right─.
I don't have any unique, irreplaceable value that only I can offer.
I don't have any irreplaceable value—something only I can do, or something that can't happen without me being there.
…In other words, that means.
As long as the conditions are met, it's absolutely fine if someone else takes my place.
"As long as we can talk casually like we usually do and have fun together, it doesn't matter if it's not me. It's just that Kōhei happened to be nearby, didn't make me feel uncomfortable, and was willing to go along with me—that's why I'm with him. It's by no means the best choice."
It's like buying a meal kit from a convenience store.
It's chosen because it's practical and convenient, or because there's no other option—not because there aren't any better options.
I was chosen as a partner simply because I happened to be around next to Kōhei.
We just happened to be heading home together. We just happened to be participating in the same activity—.
It just so happened that I showed up on the rooftop at that moment.
That's the only reason.
"The idea that this was a role only I could play… …it was only given to me because, by chance, I was the one who told Kōhei I'd help him. There's absolutely no reason why it had to be me."
"Apprentice" and "Childhood Friend"—special roles that only I was supposed to play.
But in the end, it's all just a fabrication.
To use Kōhei's words, it’s just a "Setting." It can happen precisely because there's a "Plan," and once that Plan is gone, everything vanishes instantly—it's just something special that's been tacked on.
No matter how much I act in accordance with that Setting, it doesn't mean I myself have any value.
In the truest sense, it's not something I can do on my own.
…Yeah.
If only, that day, it hadn't been me who went up to the rooftop, but someone else.
If that person had been willing to be Kōhei's "Apprentice"—.
Then, there wouldn't have been any problem at all.
No problem whatsoever… …not at all.
"To Kōhei, I'm not someone who can't be replaced. So, if he thinks that 'I'm no longer needed'… …I have no right whatsoever to interfere."
Besides, it was Kōhei's Plan. I just went along with it out of curiosity.
All this time, we've only done things together because our schedules lined up.
From the very beginning, our relationship was nothing more than a superficial partnership.
It was all an illusion—a false relationship.
Things like that—
Whether it exists or not, it's all the same.
How is it any different from a "Regular" friendship?
"─"
…Without even realizing it, my throat had gone completely dry.
I took a small sip of my coffee and swallowed it. Maybe there wasn't enough syrup—it did taste a bit more bitter than usual.
"So, well… …that's more or less it. After talking it over, I think I understand now. Thank you so much."
The Café Owner bowed his head.
For some reason… …without even realizing it, I ended up talking about myself. That's proof that I haven't returned to my usual self yet.
But the reasoning makes sense, and I don't think it's wrong.
In other words, the conclusion is clear—that's just how it is.
…Yeah.
The conclusion should be clear by now.
So why, exactly…
Why don't I feel any relief at all, I wonder?
"─Ayano-chan, listen to me!"
Suddenly, the Café Owner let out a sigh and said, "Phew."
"Turns out you're a real letdown, aren't you…"
"…Huh?"
Huh?
A letdown…?
"Eh… …me?"
As I blinked repeatedly upon hearing that completely unexpected comment, the Café Owner sighed once more before finally speaking.
"How should I put it… …someone who's too fixated on logic? Or, perhaps more accurately, someone who overthinks things?"
"Eh. Wait a second."
What on Earth was that?
This is the first time in my life I've heard something like that.
As I stood there quietly, taken aback, the Café Owner stroked his beard for a moment and then said,
"Values that are unique to you, or needs, or rights… …before thinking about things like that, shouldn't the first thing to consider be what Ayano-chan wants?"
—What do I want?
"Wait, in our convo just now, didn't you completely skip over that part?"
"…Eh. But, about that..."
Stammering, I continued.
"For me, things like that... …just don't exist at all."
If asked what I can do, I might know the answer.
But if asked what I want to do... …I'm not really sure.
Besides, that "Plan" started on Kōhei's behalf. It wasn't something I started because I wanted to do it myself.
Even now, to be honest, I'm not at all interested in the "Plan" itself—anything related to Rom-Coms.
Hearing my answer, this time the Café Owner gave me a wink.
"…Are you serious?"
"Huh. Oh, yeah…?"
"Oh, so it turns out you're not just a letdown, but also a slowpoke."
"S-Slowpoke…?"
What on Earth is that supposed to mean?
Besides, this is the first time in my life I've ever heard something like that.
Just as I was feeling quite—no, to be honest, very—surprised, the Café Owner crossed his arms and muttered, "Hmm," with a puzzled look on his face.
"Hmm, it's easy to say, but… ...what good are the words of a middle-aged outsider who isn't involved?"
The Café Owner was silent for a moment, then nodded and said, "…Yeah."
"Well, here's the thing. Do you guys have any friends who are good at that sort of thing? People who are very down-to-Earth, or people who just focus on doing what they want?"
Down-to-Earth… …Doing what they want….
Hearing that, the faces of the two people Kōhei referred to as the "Main Heroines" flashed through my mind.
"Someone's on my mind… …not that there's no one, though."
"Oh, I see. Well then, why don't you try talking heart-to-heart to them? Who knows—you might discover something new."
"Oh, no… …even so, they aren't people close enough to me to talk about something like this."
Yeah, even though to Kōhei they're the “Main Heroines," but to me they're just casual acquaintances—or more accurately, people I have only a tenuous connection with.
Or to be more precise—to be honest—if it weren't for this "Plan," I'm not the type of person who would actively try to build relationships with anyone. They aren't the kind of people you can communicate with by following the usual rules or logic of social interaction.
"Oh, no, no—when it comes to closeness, I'm not that different, am I? I'm just an ordinary Café Owner."
"Yeah, that's true, but..."
"Well, every once in a while, it's important to try talking to someone who's the complete opposite of you. I guess that's the only advice I can give."
"Good luck," said the Café Owner with a small smile, then he stood up as if the convo were over.
I stared blankly at his back, then took a final sip of my iced coffee while lost in thought.
─I should try talking heart-to-heart to them both, huh?
I'm still not quite sure what the consequences might be.
But, well…
Besides, I don't really have anything else to do.
If this could help me deal with these lingering feelings, maybe it's worth considering.
"…But."
Even so—now that Summer Vacation has started, it's hard to get in touch with them.
I do know their contact numbers because they're listed in "Friends' Notes," but it feels weird to suddenly reach out to them through that and ask them to meet up somewhere.
If only there were a chance to meet them in person...
"Hmm."
Just as that thought crossed my mind, my upcoming schedule suddenly popped into my head.
─You could say this is the perfect time.
Starting next week, the Summer "Study Camp" is scheduled to begin.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
RP: Angga Kun
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