Chapter 208
Object of Fear
"Why... ...did you do that kind of thing...?"
She did not seem sad at first. She looked surprised, and her eyes were wide open. She didn't seem to realize that she was shedding tears. At that moment, I was so upset by this sudden situation that I didn't have time to think about why Natsukawa's behavior had changed.
"Why did I do that... ...no, it's more than that..."
"'More than that.'...? Huh...?"
Natsukawa's eyes narrowed more sharply than I had ever seen before as I finally got my words out. It must have blurred her vision and Natsukawa in the end seemed to realize the changes happening inside her body.
"Oh..."
A teardrop fell from Natsukawa's cheeks and hit her open hand. As she ran her hand over her face and confirmed that the fingertips touching her cheek were wet, her neat face became wrinkled as if she were sober, and she wiped her eyes repeatedly with the edge of her sleeve as if she were in a hurry.
"N-Natsukawa..."
"...!"
"Oh..."
As I reached out my hand without thinking, Natsukawa took a step away from me, as if she had been played. The fact that I hadn't been able to express my reasons until now was a strong shock to me. I fell into an involuntary silence.
"I-I'm... ...sorry...!"
Natsukawa was visibly upset. I could tell that she was desperate to stop her tears. However, the ends of her sleeves were getting wet, and she seemed unable to do anything about it.
"─...!"
"Oh..."
Natsukawa turned around to hide her crying face and started running. It didn't take long until her back was out of sight outside the school gate. Even if I tried to chase after her, my body was immobilized, as if I was tied up. Even if I had been able to move, I didn't have the confidence to do anything about this situation, or the words to say at the moment.
"—..."
I don't know how much time passed, I became stunned, my mind went blank, and then my body became free. The nostalgic feeling of loss that was so clearly rejected by the person I liked, made me calm down, and I began to think about the reason why Natsukawa ran away from me.
─ If I think about it carefully, it's also correct, isn't it?
If I think about it again, it's a reasonable conclusion. First of all, the reason why I didn't want Natsukawa to know the truth about this injury is the answer.
There was someone in front of me who was holding a pair of scissors to her neck. I knew that if I continued to watch, a tragedy would await me. So I had to do something.
Well, I immediately showed that person the blood from the injury in front of her.
It was indeed a crazy idea. It was crazy to hurt myself so deeply to save someone else's life. I had a lot of regrets after I did that. Why did I have to do it this way? There must be a safer way, right?
Natsukawa couldn't accept that I had done such a thing. She didn't want to believe that someone close to her had done such a crazy thing. She's afraid of this impulse that I find frightening as well.
It's not something she can think of logically. That's why she had no choice but to shed tears beyond her consciousness and run away like that. To protect herself from something she couldn't understand, to distance herself from me.
"—Mr. Driver."
"! Y-Yeah..."
"Can't I get my bag back? I don't need you to look after it on the way home or anything."
"Huh, ...B-But."
"You don't have to do it."
"...Here you go."
I took my bag that was thrust into my hand as if I wanted to snatch it. Come to think of it, I think I was being rude to the driver. I was a bit angry, but honestly not that angry. I also felt a little better, because I no longer felt guilty for continuing to hide the truth.
Besides, for some reason, I vaguely knew how Natsukawa would react to this truth. That's why I didn't tell her because I was afraid she would look at me like that. Because I would have done the same thing, had that person not been the Young Lady who put the cutter to her neck that time. At that time, I did realize my fate that this would probably be discovered sooner or later.
"U-Um...!"
"...What's wrong?"
"That's..."
The Young Lady looked rather desperate. She approached me and apologized, while anxiously tugging at a part of my uniform.
I think I've reached my time limit.
The fact that she was apologizing meant that she was still trying to recover her relationship with me. Even though this was a thin relationship that was originally connected by a link that could explode in an instant. Moreover, it would be easier if we never got involved with each other again.
"You're a bad girl. You are that kind of girl."
"Oh..."
As if to confront me with a real possibility, I touched the neck where the cutter was pointed at that time with my left hand. The smooth skin, which was protected in exchange for my injury, did feel warm even through my bandaged hand, and I could tell that it could have bled profusely.
"Th-That's because... ...Natsukawa-san-"
"Don't worry about it!"
"...I'm sorry."
Where did her firm demeanor when refuting Natsukawa go? The strong Young Lady who used to be on stage is now nowhere to be found. What's here now is instead the weak Young Lady who was easily touched on the neck by a cunning boy. The way she looked at me when I let go of her hand left a bad impression on me.
In the end, I was never taken care of by the Shinonome Family.
♦
In the end, I must say that the bandage on my left hand stopped bleeding and I calmed down. I was getting used to the painful and itchy sensations that came with this process of regenerating my skin. I hated my left hand because I thought that if it wasn't for this hand, things like yesterday wouldn't have happened.
Even so, if I bumped into the wall next to me again, even though I didn't want to, I might be awakened by Natsukawa again. Until yesterday, I might have just been labeled as 'the careless one', but now I might be misunderstood and feared as "This boy is a crazy b*stard who would do such a thing.". It's annoying... ...Trust me.
Thanks to all of you, the naive thought that "It's about me" is gone. I will protect this left hand at all costs. I'm willing to risk my right hand for it.
(TL Note: Hey, enough, we don't want to have our MC with both hands disabled!)
"...."
Natsukawa, who was sitting in the back seat, didn't make a sound or move an inch. I'm sure she's still keeping her head down. If it's just because I'm nearby that she's doing that, then the easy thing for me to do would be to tell her the truth briefly. But, if nothing changes, even though I've kept my distance, then I must deal with it properly.
If the cause that made Natsukawa cry was exactly what I thought. I had a reason to make Natsukawa understand that I acted properly. That means, "I will never do anything similar again". Then, at that moment, I had no other way to stop the Young Lady's actions in the Student Council Office. Even so, I can assure you that I will never do anything similar again.
─ After all, I didn't expect it to be this painful...
It was indeed painful. It was very painful. It wasn't on the level of ordinary pain. This severe pain was an image that could not be resisted. It was indeed an explosive pain. Depending on the state of my stomach, even my pride would come to an end. I couldn't have predicted this and I didn't know what the foreign object stuck in my palm meant.
I was used to watching the news about the negative influence of anime, manga, and games on children as if it were someone else's problem, but it seemed that I was also heavily influenced by these media. I've seen too many scenes where a male main character slash hero uses himself as a shield to protect his friends and pulls out a knife stuck in his shoulder with a blank expression on his face. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought, "Yeah, that's pretty cool".
If only I had known the pain of doing that beforehand. Even if this was indeed an emergency of the highest order, the choice to pick up the cutter lying on the floor would have been lost at the first opportunity. I think I would at least kick the pen box with its contents scattered all over the place and keep that Young Lady's head away — That's what I would probably do...!?
(TL Note: Why are you thinking of this now, Bro!?)
In the end, I underestimated the feedback from such self-defeating actions. I would never willingly sacrifice myself to help others again. There was no point in sacrificing myself for someone who wasn't my family or the girl I loved. The fact that the cause of this injury was due to my carelessness is just the same.
If only I could explain that to Natsukawa someday...
At least, not for now. Both yesterday and today, to Natsukawa, I would be the most incomprehensible and crazy boy. Even if I behaved normally, she would probably distance herself from me just by me talking to her. I might be able to forcefully tell her, but... my heart won't be able to take it. I'll wait until my left hand heals and if the stress of this situation causes a hormonal imbalance, I might have already grown a finger from the injured area.
Fortunately, Natsukawa and I are currently sitting in front and behind each other. I would appreciate it if she could get used to looking at my back without talking to me. If it makes Natsukawa smile sweetly as usual, that's fine. If that fails, I'll let her listen to my story without any love distance let alone true love.
"We're going to change seats position today!"
For now, with this —What?
"─A-Alright! Then, from today onwards, all of you will sit in these seat positions!"
"...?"
As I started to realize, Natsukawa was no longer sitting behind me.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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